Do you tell your parents your exact salary?

I recently switched jobs in Bangalore, earning about 1L per month. I've used all my savings to build a house for my parents, and they keep asking my exact salary to decide how much I should send monthly, including construction and maintenance costs. My father wants us to construct the home in less than 2 years without any loan, using cash from our salaries. They keep asking me to either send a fixed amount monthly --------------------------
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I have a home loan where my parents and my younger brother family stays.... I am in Bangalore on rent....And my complete family knows my monthly take home....

1. No Parents and Family are the same so it would be fair for anyone to advise you on such a anonymous portal

2. If family needs your support you should do to what extent possible.

3. There is no harm in sharing your salary with your parents they have the right to know.

4. If you feel you are contributing more towards your parents and less for yourself, then explain your situation to your parents and tell them exactly what you can do for them.

#Note: Your Parents raise you and if they are asking for monthly expenses then it's not wrong, they have the right to ask you for this.

My grandparents always asked my father for the exact salary. My father used to send money home every month, which was used for the education of my uncle and aunt (my father's younger brother and sister). Grandparents even upgraded the family home at my Village with the help of my father's salary.

Years later my father lost his job and none of his business hustle worked out for him. No one in my entire family neither my grandparents nor my uncle came ahead to help us. For almost a decade we struggled with our daily bills. My mother didn't buy decent clothes neither did I during this period. We lived in such small house which use to leak in rainy season and heat eas unbearable in summers.

All families are not as honest and nice as they should be ideally.
Learn my father's mistake and save for your well being as well.

or directly pay for the house construction expenses. They won't cover my marriage expenses or my brother's (who doesn't have a good job). My father fears stop giving them money once have debts. To be honest, came to Bangalore to escape their daily quarrels and my father's toxic, controlling behavior. They keep asking my exact salary; I know it's a trap. Feels like shouldn't have been born.

Stop thinking so much and give a fake number that suites your interest

Just say it is 60k, your rent and expenses will go around 25 k..and you can send around 35k monthly. It should not be a problem.

After your parents, the house is going to be yours and your brothers anyways. If you can have that conversation now it will be better to say it upfront what percent each will own . Because your brother is not contributing same as you.But based on what you have said looks like your father won't be in a mood to listen .
Just say a fake salary which you can afford to send. Even show a fake salary slip if they ask.
Save up your remaining.

This u r personal..how we can involve u need to handle on u r own...

When I started working, I didn't know the scenario and told my mom my exact salary. She then proceeded to take everything and give me an allowance for my daily commute. Me being a girl and my house being conservative, I am not allowed to have social life, so only commute costs are allowed.

Not just this, she also shared my salary package to my whole extended family and distant relatives. They knew all about our finances.

Eventually, I couldn't survive it. So after 13 years my solution is to tell her a lesser figure and still let her give me allowance out of it. Sometimes you can't win people. You just survive by doing whatever you can without hurting them and most importantly, yourself.

Never tell the exact salary to parents or family otherwise they expect more from you. Even if you don't have money they will think you are ambani. If they are asking or anybody asked just tell them it's around 50 or 60k. Trust me I am telling you from real life experience.

Hey don't think too much, I also faced the same situation in the past. Parents are not aware of the financial situation of the market, they think if said 1L means 1L. They don't know the taxes behind it, they don't know your own expenses, they don't know your own planning for the future.

Do one thing either clearly talk to them about what is going on in your mind, tell them that you are earning this much but according to the current market situation this is the standard and it also includes 30% tax. Tell them you want to save money for your future plans. Tell them salaries have been raised directly proportional to inflation, that means 5 years ago if the avg salary for a person was 40K, now it is 70K or 80K. Well this all will be too much of a headache to deal with and I also don't know your parents mindset. So I don't know how impactful this thought is going to be.

Second and the best option in my opinion tell them you are getting 60k in your account after all deductions.
I'm getting around 2.5 in my account and note down my suggestion don't expose your actual salary to anyone not even to your shadow. If you don't want to regret it in the future. As much as people will get to know they will automatically start making their mind that this person is gone be helpful or he is earning that much so he should help me. After all you might be a son, brother, friend, husband .... etc for them.

I will suggest you to try looking out for onsite opportunities and then never return back .
Meanwhile,you can also give money to build their house.

Just one word, “Don’t “
My parents took around 20 lakhs from me to renovate the family house , 2 years later they gave it away to my younger brother who wasn’t even earning but had debts , I got 0 rs back from them

You can tell your parents your exact salary only if they are not toxic and only selfishly thinking about themselves. If they are utilising your salary to safeguard your future , please go ahead . Else NO.
Initially we used to tell our both sides family each and every financial earning . What it entailed was my spouse's parents ALWAYS asking for more and more money . When their home needs are fulfilled they wasted that money on clothes or on relatives.
Even now we have to take care of 3 elderly relatives along with both set of parents.
My in laws have not invested or utilized in any asset any of our money rather my mother in law spent lakhs in own sarees and another 10 L for her side of family members when we were living off on personal loans and abject poverty in Bangalore with not having money for public transport also ( after joint earning close to 50-60L ) !!! The situation is still 70% same.
They take money every month from spouse and waste that. Never utilise their own pension ( 60 kpm) and takes money from spouse for daily needs.
After a lot of fights I have been able to stop telling my earnings to in laws . Spouse still tell everything but it's spouse side . And I have stopped giving money from my earnings for them to waste .
My inlaws had demanded for spouse not to marry , never wanted us to have kids as that would dry up the money flow for them to waste.
You need to understand your parents type and decide accordingly.
There is a difference between responsibility and dancing to the tune of selfish toxic manipulative parents .
Those who have not seen toxic parents will never understand this.

My parents never asked me my salary or package. It’s upto you if you want to share with them. You should also plan for your future along with the house construction. May be you can set a fix amount that will go to your parents from your salary and remaining amount you decide where to invest and save

That's why parents consider giving birth to boy as future investment

Start deducting 15% voluntary pf from your salary and tell them 20% less from your in hand salary. Never let them know about your bonus if you are getting one. And rest you can also show some fake expenses every month.

My father's a small business owner , by this I mean he's a very practical person and knows really well how to save money and I am also in a similar situation. This year we have to get our house built without any loan and also I have to get married by next year's March and I want to fund it completely even if I have to take a small loan for it(my father is against loan, he says he will manage).

I earn as much as you do. But I don't share my actual salary , I have lied to him that I earn around 65k after I switched. And I don't see anything wrong with it.

Reason being it's my money to manage , not my parents'also. I should also learn how to do that.
And my parents don't understand my expenses. I love to travel and If I tell them how much I spend on travelling , it will become a daily quarrel. Why do I want to travel , it's difficult to make them understand cause they never spend money on their wishes , so they won't understand. Alongside I am saving money for my marriage also.
I have been doing it for 3 years and it's going well for me.

And taking care of my parents, I plan to make my father retire after 5 years. I am a girl and no matter where I am, I will take care of their livelihoods.

You can tell your parents that you earn less, keep 20-30k , decide on this amount, and next time you switch, tell accordingly. It might help you. NO GUILTS. There's no problem.

Dont tell the correct number, Always say less and say you are in debt in case if you feel like that.
Toxic parents need to be handled delicately.
Its better to not tell the exact number.

Would suggest to give a less numbered salary. So u can send a less or ok amount.
Save some money for your own.

Tell them the expenses also, mostly rent and cost of living.

Your Salary, Your Business, Your Money, Your Savings, Your Revenue. All these words start with "Your" which means it's Yours and it belongs to Yours. No one has any right on it, nor someone can demand it from you. All anyone can do is Request and Seek from you by your permission. You want to tell someone how much you earn or not is up to you. How safe you feel around them. Whoever the person may be. But After All being said, Remember you are a Human, born from a Human and Will give birth to a Human, and Live in relationship with Humans, So you are obliged to spend on each relationship appropriately and Humanely. Nothing else. Someone else is building the house, Someone else is having trouble, You ain't feeling to give lumsums for their Debts, all these are completely your decisions to carry forward. Remember to be Responsible with Money. I see a lot of people being careless and reckless with money. Don't be among them. Treat Money like your Good friend whom you don't wanna lose, cause it will help you in times when you need. Otherwise we all know what relatives & friends come up with when we are in need.

I understand. If you think they are narcissistic, then tell them exactly how you feel and reduce contact. May be allot some 20-25k and the rest Tell them you want to purchase a house in Bangalore or are saving up for your marriage or the future. If they are not narcs, they treat you well but are just in need of money to May be fulfill a dream or want that house for your security, it they think along those lines, that could mean they want it for your future and they love you, in that case you could give more but it all comes down to your choice. Your mental peace is most important.