For those who work with mix race couple. Looking to have some better understanding. I have a client who is white and his wife is black. They were having a discussion about their future kids being able to use the N word. He feels uncomfortable with that phrase and does not want them using it. But she thinks that culturally it is acceptable and that they should be able to. How should I navigate this conversation with them?

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I’d be curious about their personal meaning/experience/relationship with this word, and what does it mean to their respective communities. Mixed raced children’s racial/cultural identities are going to be different from that of their parents, and they will have unique relationship with this word. Instead of deciding what’s right or wrong, maybe have a curious conversation that aims to understand why we have different approaches (which is okay), how do we feel about it, what do we do about these feelings, what were the considerations that shaped our own approach that they could use to coach their future children in making their own decisions. I also wonder if this goes even further, how is cultural/racial differences impacting their relationship dynamic right now. Just my 2 cents.

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Thanks! Thats really helpful!!

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