Best way to deal with family members who treat you like the family therapist? Over thanksgiving my aunt disclosed some intense stuff to me and asked me for my help/opinion, and it was uncomfortable. I don't feel good saying just don't talk to me about stuff like that, but I also am not paid to give therapy to my own family and the things they tell me put me in weird situations with other family members. Help!

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I’m not a counselor, but as a behavior analyst, friends or family will ask me for advice and it’s very tricky because I’m technically not at liberty to provide advice outside of my work environment. It’s literally against my code of ethics - just as a doctor could be put in a legally compromised position giving the wrong medical advice to someone outside of his/her medical environment. So, you could try telling them the truth - there’s an ethical issue in attempting to provide your services to your own family. The conflict of interest could create issues, potentially causing more harm than good, despite good intentions - additionally, as a member of the family yourself, it puts you at an awkward position and any insights you have are completely biased. You could tell them that your best advice is to seek an independent therapist who has no ties to the family dynamic.

like

Thank you for this! I was trying to find a solid and polite way to help me explain this to them and this helps a lot. It is ethically inappropriate, and simply a bad idea in my eyes.

like

It's ok to say "I know I am qualified to help you, but due to our familial relationship I simply ethically cannot." I don't know the personality of your aunt, but if you can recommend her some confidential resources for her mental health, I feel like you're doing your best.

like

Definitely seems as if she was taking advantage of you in this moment, regardless if she's conscious of that or not. I think obviously it's about boundary setting and stopping that kind of action by family before it starts.

I love how all of us behavior specialists were on top of this post. We’re not behavior specialists for no reason 😅

State your limits in advance: something like…”I am your family member so it’s not loving, kind, or ethical to be your therapist. I will ask you not to share sensitive information if it strays into therapy territory. I am happy to give you names of counselors who might be able to help. I love you too much to have anything come between us.”

Explain to them how you're ethically unable to act as a therapist for them. If they can't understand that, hit them with the "you're gonna have to pay for that" bit. That's what usually scares them off. If you can, suggest them to another therapist you know.

I know it's hard to say no when they are already spilling things like that. I've been there, but I have set boundaries because some relatives I consider as energy vampires who will sap your energy any moment they can. Your feelings here are valid because you are basically becoming their emotional dump. It is neither healthy for you both.

Over thanksgiving? When all you want to do is enjoy the holiday and not think about work. That's so frustratung. Been there too many times myself but I constantly tell them that I wouod get back to them once I find the time. But I know I eventually need to make up a good excuse to reject their request.

Wow, that stinks that they did this over thanksgiving. I think however you have the right to tell them that you love them and ethically they are family and you cant treat them. That they need to seek professional help. Good luck.

Related Posts

Anyone have success/experience/stories to share getting someone with mild bipolar disorder insured at a decent rating? Which type of policy, how old was the applicant etc.?

like

My wife is in sales at Mercedes and she has been averaging $200k a year and growing YoY. She loves her job, however she works long days and barely gets time off. We plan on having kids within the next year or two, and it’s highly u likely that she’ll be able to keep her current gig. We want to find a career that allows her to work remote or that at least gives her a better work life balance so that she can see her kids grow up. Should she get certifications to give her a shot at adtech?Too late?

like

I just had a student come to me to explain she just came out to her mother and her mother took it horribly. She is talking about sending her away to boarding school. How should I go about addressing.

like

Advice and/or consolation anyone? My wife and I (both above average health 30year olds) were trying for 11 months before getting pregnant and then had a week 5 early miscarriage a few months back. If the stress and surprise of just how difficult it apparently is to get pregnant wasn’t enough, the miscarriage put us over. We got back to it and have been trying for the last 2 months again, still no luck. We’re freaking out… all we want is a family. Any similar stories? Advice? 😢

like

“Circumcision makes your dick look like it’s wearing a tailored suit. Circumcised is James Bond. Uncircumcised is James Out-On-Bond"

likefunny

Is CSR still worth it? I already used the complimentary Lyft membership? It just expired. and I already used the DoorDash benefit. Their fees are going up to $550

like

Raise your hand if you are violently hungover

like

I don’t want to stop living a double life. I’m a 29yo bi guy living in a liberal city and I’ve dated a guy(29m) for 5 years. I fly back to my conservative small town and pretend I’m straight for my parents (and extended family) because I don’t want to disappoint them or cause them any pain. I love them and I love my bf, and I want to keep both aspects of my life as they are today. My bf wants to meet my parents but I really don’t want to bring that drama into my life

like

Husband and I have been trying to conceive for a little over a year with no luck. All of our testing came back normal except his morphology was at 6%. RE is recommending IUI as next step with letrozole (and also looking like progesterone and ovulation trigger shot from the paperwork) I’m scared of the drugs and potential effect on my hormones, body, and future cycles. Can anyone please share their experience with these drugs and any side effects? Should we maybe start with natural IUI first?

like

Would anyone consider their senior colleagues to be their genuine friends?

like

For those of you who had miscarriages after IVF, was there an underlying cause? Did you do genetic testing of your embryos? Did you do frozen or fresh transfer? Are there any ways to minimise chances of miscarriage during ivf?

like

So I like to wear old t shirts and leggings when I workout instead of being head to toe lulu. Am I gonna feel weird if I join equinox?

likefunny

Stupid Question- We have been thinking for IVF and trying to understand with this process, is there any difference in the health and life of the child as compared to a child born without IVF. I did ask this with our doctor and he said casually its all same. This is not to question any doctor but just to really understand what is going to be different with the kid. This is not very old technology and not much studies as well.

like

Anyone here can share experience with dating/relationships and weight-gain? I am not obese, but definitely overweight. I lead a relatively healthy life but know I can do more. However, I find that my weight keeps me from socializing, meeting new people and dating. How can I improve my self-esteem?

like

I left bedside nursing and the hospital 2 years ago. I don't feel guilty about it and honestly this pandemic
has convinced me to never return.

like

Can a sex less marriage survive if everything else is as great as a couple can have in realistic and non filmy scenario.

Had a second date planned for tonight, she text me this morning and has a high fever! Should I send a care package?

like

It’s crazy how much close friends influence you.
Would you stay friends with someone that consistently makes bad financial decisions. Or distance yourself for like-minded folk.

I have a friend that is constantly trying to guilt me and pressure me into overspending, especially on “luxury” items. But I have different goals for my money and she doesn’t seem to respect that.

like

Hi Sharks
I am 25 years old with in hand salary of 1L(just from last month) and i want to buy a term insurance plan. My questions are:
1. Is it wise to take 2 plans of term insurance one with return of 60 years and another without return of 80 years of each 1cr.
2. Is it wise to include health riders in insurance plan to claim for 80d or just chose health insu
3. How much one can ideally shell out for insurance per month (both term and health) for self in terms of percentage of monthly income.

like

Does Paleo help lose fat?

Also, what HiiT exercises do you do for fat burning that really helps?

Look to shred

More Posts

Such a business case type question, but I’ve been wondering how much watch revenue has been influenced by this bowl over the past couple years? Anyone else wonder the same? Shooting in the dark but I’d guess probs $10m or so

likefunny

Anyone make the switch out to IT type work? Just not enjoying the BS in accounting and want something more chill.

like

When did you receive your signing bonus?

like

Can anyone tell me the difference between a senior and lead validation engineer( no direct reports in both cases) in Pharma/ biotech ? I am not sure what’s the hierarchy and which level must get a higher salary. Or is it just referenced interchangeably in different companies ?

If we are billable on project in nagarro do we need to worry about recession for now .
One more question:
What is nagarro planning how to handle recession:
Lay offs or salary cut or stop increment.

Please anyone from leadership reply

Partner is pissed at me & judging everything because we disagreed on a deliverable. I was at fault at not giving what was needed even though we disagreed. I respect them, how to fix the relationship?

like

Hi Fishes, I l'm about to get offer of 10 LPA from Yash Technologies as an SAP ABAP Consultant, YoE - 3.7. any feedback on Yash Technologies in terms of Learning and work ?? and how much can I expect take home Salary?

like

Hi fishes,

I'm currently into analytics domain, want to get into front desk/quant role in investment banking/markets domain. Can FRM, CFA or CQF help me land there? Since I don't have any workex related to finance, any CTC ranges I can expect?
Or full masters is the way ? Anyone on that

like

Got the offer Amazon L5 Cloud Support Engineer, what is ideal salary for this position.

like

Does Coinbase send welcome gifts / swag to new hires during the first week?

funny

Are you saying leadership seminars don't work?!?!

Post Photo
likefunnyhelpful

Tired of stressful airport experiences?

WE ARE HERE TO HELP!

Wish you had someone to help you with luggage, kids and just getting through the airport? Are you a senior who would like a helping hand but don’t want to be stuck in a wheelchair? Now you can find the assistance you need. Sign up online or call our phone number and we will connect you with a trained, pre-vetted airport assistant.
Bookings must be made 24 hours in advance of service.

Post Photo
like

I have a in person(online, 4 hours - 4 people) technical interview coming up and I have been practicing my coding for the past 3 weeks. The only thought I've been having is "what if I can't solve the coding question?" I am still fairly new to the software engineer scene and the position is for a level 1 software engineer.
Does it essentially end my chances if at any point I can't solve the question? I mean I will definitely attempt to talk it through, ask question, but no progress in code. 🤷

like

Anyone going to the security/privacy conference in DC this week?

Should litigation come out of legal or the businesses budget? My understanding is business? Any thoughts here or advice…

like

Adobe Premiere or AfterEffects? Unemployed and want to learn a new skill. Which would serve me better? Do you have a fav place for tutorials?

like

Just cannot get into my job lately. I don’t know if it’s the hormones, the upcoming FET transfer next week, or if I’m truly just over my company. I’ve been there 5 1/2 years. I started out as an executive assistant and last year I created a path for myself for communications. Almost a year into the role, a new manager was brought on, to my surprise. She is great, but I’m finding I don’t have enthusiasm for this role at all. I don’t think I have a choice to go back to being an executive assistant

like

Captured all of the elusive 5 keys from Blade and Bow. Apparently you get a gift from them upon completion but Georgia residents are ineligible to receive it.

Post Photo
like

Time to rock ‘n roll, peeps. Welcome to Monday!

Post Photo
like

This might be the wrong place to ask but is getting a car worth it?

I think it’ll somewhat improve QOL but with parking, insurance, gas and financing costs I’m not sure spending almost 1K/month is a good idea at 22.

The other problem is that used cars are so damn expensive right now so I can’t just buy a used mx5 for 5-10K

like

Additional Posts in Social Workers & Therapists

Any MSWs successfully broken into the employee wellness/ DEI space at a tech company. Any advice?

like

Hi everyone HELP! I was lucky enough to receive two job offers, one in SNF/LTC one in oncology outpatient setting. Looking for any tips from people that have worked in either setting or both??
Some background I am coming from a inpatient hospital setting. Thank you!

like

What is a good hourly amount to ask for as a PRN social worker/therapist in the DC area?

like

I am sick and tired of mental health professionals getting overworked and underpaid. No other profession I am sure is this horrible!!!

like

Is anyone in any outreach coordinator positions? What is the pay like? I’m seeing $40,000 mark?

like

Have you ever felt uncomfortable treating a patient? I don't feel unsafe, and the patient isn't making me uncomfortable physically or anything, I am just seriously disturbed by the discussions we're having about what they're going through. I've been working at this hospital 4 years and this is the first time this has ever happened. Is it wrong to consider asking for a transfer?

likehelpful

Anyone here ever struggled working at a private practice during your first year as a licensed counselor? I work well with the clients but I find it difficult to accept the pay I receive for the amount of work I do and is required. Lately, I realize I haven’t been putting in much effort towards paperwork because of the pay I receive.

like

Hey there! really need a change in pace from being in higher levels of care, and am wanting to go part-time with my company and private practice, but I want to buy a house in the next year and am worried about finances. Can anyone speak to the hardships or successes or a counseling of practice and/or buying a home shortly after starting one? I feel trapped in my current job because I’m worried the timing isn’t right.

like

What do you guys think about apps like BetterHelp and Talkspace? I understand they might have real therapists working on their content, but a lot of the marketing I see is so vague and broad that it feels like a lie. Seems like "This app got rid of my anxiety with a 30-minute automated text questionnaire" is the new "This tea made me lose 20 pounds in two weeks!" Just seems a little fad-like and money grabby to me. Thoughts?

like

How have you dealt with/recovered from burnout and feelings of numbness while working as a therapist?

likeuplifting

Best advice for a new therapist? Or something you wish you learned at the beginning of your career?

like

What's one thing you wish you knew before becoming a social worker or a therapist?

like

Hello, I’m an LMSW in Michigan. I have 15 years of experience in the field as a clinician, supervisor, and an administrator. I am feeling burnt out and unsure of my future. I have worked mainly in the Community Mental Health and the VA Health systems, hence my fatigue. I’ve flirted with private practice work in the past, but my spouse has been worried about not having affordable healthcare and benefits that each system provides. Is it worth the jump? Am I overthinking things?

like

Any recommendations on a good side hustle or part time job? Trying to buy a house (yes I know the economy sucks right now) and it’s been tough saving with a SW salary.

like

What is a fair salary for someone who has 3yrs case management, hospital experience, and a LMSW? I’m getting a lot of low ball offers, and feel like I deserve more between the 60-65 salary range.

like

I graduated in May of 22. I transitioned from being an intern to being a full time counselor, now for 6 months. I feel like I might be catching my agency at a tough time, but as an employee it doesn’t seem to be trying anything to keep me here besides the occasional ‘motivational’ posts from the administrative team. I felt like I was lowballed during my offer, and my negotiation salary was denied since this is technically my first “professional” job. Pt 2 in comments:

like

LCSW 50k loan repayment- Has anyone been granted a contract through the National Health Service Corps Loan Repayment Program? I’m interested in applying for the 2 years of full time work as an LCSW but my loans are a bit under 50k so I’m wondering if they would only give me what I need to clear my loans or would I still get 50k as long as I complete my contract ?

like

I am looking for a referral for a remote case management position for Heath First, Humana or Evalance. I have 15 years of experience and I have my LMSW in NY and SC🙏🥰

like

How much time off do you get for the holidays? I have 1 week off. Social workers or therapists at hospitals or treatment centers especially.

likeuplifting

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal