Hello all,

I've just started my new role as HR state manager for a large international law firm.

I'm a male and my admin is female. After working with her for a week and discussing it with my wife, I think my admin is a little smitten for me.

I have no feelings towards her whatsoever and have been nothing but very professional in all interactions.

Was wondering best way to set boundaries from the start?

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What has she done that has led you to believe this?

likehelpful

I almost can’t wait to hear the answer to this

likefunny

Always leave your door open. Try to never have meetings alone if possible, and definitely set boundaries.

likehelpful

I’m very curious what she has done to lead you to believe she is smitten. Do you think maybe she is just friendly or helpful? Totally different story if she sat on your lap - but is it possible that is her personality and she is being authentic?

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Hmm make sure you're not getting all flustered yourself with the possible admiration she's been showing. make sure it's not just in your head also. You don't have to do anything IMO if you're not flirting back or she doesn't do any overt act that would make you uncomfortable.. If she comes ton to you hard that's when you talk to her and tell her you have a wife and you are very loyal to her, and make sure you tell her you don't have any feelings for anyone besides your wife

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Hmmm, I think you have to be as straight forward as possible to avoid any confusion.

What do you suggest he say?

Avoid being too friendly to her where she may mistake it for flirting or fondness, try to avoid prolonged eye contact, just be straight to the point with her, talk about your wife in convos where she’s involved so she gets the hint.

Preach recruiter 1

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You better involve another hr person and legal before you say a thing

She may admire you for what you have accomplished professionally. It can look like infatuation. There is nothing for you to do unless she comes on to you or touches you inappropriately. In the meantime keep it professional. Keep the door open at all times. If you have to close the door because you are discussing confidential information make sure it is a door with glass windows.

I would recommend proactively discussing your concerns with your human resources department. That way if anything does occur you can show that you saw the warning signs and you proactively asked for help. This will be very helpful if she ever accuses you of something or crosses the line. Also, the others are absolutely right. Keep the door open and do not put yourself in a position where you are alone with her.

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