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How much is variable bonus at c11 level?
What is this "Tax Tech" I keep hearing about?
Thoughts on big 4 boomerangs?
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It gets better but first year is terrible. Same boat as you with 2nd kid. Try to staff yourself on longer term
Implementation studies instead of shorter ones.
Dang that’s super smart. I’ll look into that.
Dude, signing back on to work 8 to 12 doesn’t make sense if you’re rocking him back to sleep at night. Are you a single parent? Have you tried having your partner do the bedtime while you work, then you take the night shift? Also, your kid will start sleeping longer at night, especially if fed well and tired. Still sucks though… 9 months here
Yea maybe I’m missing something but I hate to see you suffer. McKinsey likely has backup childcare benefits. Firstly, you should use daycare or a nanny and get the dcfsa reimbursement, then use backup care maybe once or twice a week when you need to work so you can get 4 hours or so on those days to focus.
Ex MBB mgr here and couldn't make it work with a newborn despite local cases. Grass is now looking greener after I made the switch
This is just my thoughts and I am just trying to be candid. I feel like this job (and I am sure, most top level jobs) will make you choose between your firm or your kids. The compromise I have made is trading off a slightly higher level of performance by working slightly less (good vs great) to save time eg weekends, not working past midnight so I can wake up at a decent time in the AM to play with kids.
Now that my kid is 16 months I miss the infant phase, it is becoming increasingly difficult with so many different/new things we need to figure out and it takes a lot of energy and there is never a break.
Few people told me it gets better when they are 5, I guess they are speaking out of experience.
Did the same, left consulting for now. Will circle back once the kid is 5 to reevaluate consulting career
Rising Star
What does mom do?
I have 3 kids (10/7/2) and have been a consultant for 20 years. If you’re not set up with a ton of support at home (nanny, SAHM, etc.) the next 2 years will be hard.
Sleep is the key. Do whatever it takes to sleep train. Eventually it’ll happen, and life will immediately get better.
Rising Star
Money gives you the option to make your wife’s life better right now. I guarantee that whatever you spend on the help right now will have enormous value in your emotional well-being and relationship strength.
Find someone that can do a couple days a week, give everyone else a break. It will give you the strength to make it through the choppy nights until little one is getting a full night’s sleep.
Your other point - about travel / long hours - get the help in place first, and try to wait until sleep is under control, then you can go harder. Kids are very adaptable, but mom needs help.
First year/year and a half sucks ass. I mean horribly. Kids are amazing and beautiful but damn if they're not life-sucking vampires. Have a 5 and a 3 y/o. Def gets way better when they sleep through the night (anywhere between 1 and 2 y/o). You're not alone. I live next to the Hudson River and the first year of each of my kids lives, I was terrified I was going to give up and throw myself into it. My wife was in the same boat.
I’d sleep train. It only gets harder as they get older, and eventually you’ll have to wait until they ‘grow out of it’. In my experience, and the experience of many friends, the cry-it-out method is what’s most effective. Brutal for a few days for the parents, but the kids really don’t care.
Having said that, if your kiddo is only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time, it could be they have some food sensitivity. Perhaps check into that?
Really, truly — sleep is what’s most important. Prioritize that above all else, and everything else will seem easier.
Pro
Sleep train - cry it out worked for us. But ditto to everyone saying it just sucks. I got used to having 5h sleep or less for the first couple of years
Throw money at it. Hire a sleep consultant to re-train the baby. Get an Au pair to help the wife. You may not use all her hours, but it will give your wife a break and give you the option to care for your child when it counts and focus on work otherwise.