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I have had the same issue my entire life. I think if I had someone else manage my money, it would help.
I don't make enough to afford to pay someone to manage it and the only person I would trust with full control of my finances is way too judgmental. Love you Mom! 🤪
It's hard to handle that. I'll see things online and want them and it's so easy to order, so there you go. What I finally did was start a spreadsheet in Google Sheets and started noting down what I bought. I realized that having to write it down took some of the fun out of it. But more importantly it made me realize how much I was spending without even thinking about it. If you can get into that habit, it might help. It got me from buying to just sticking to window shopping.
Both my children have ADHD as well. My daughter manages her money well. My son has impulse spending issues. Their bank accounts are connected to mine, so I see how they spend. They are both headed to college in a couple of weeks, so I do not monitor their accounts, however, I do see them from time to time. My son's spending raises my anxiety levels like crazy.
I try to advise him to get this under control now, because it only gets worse the more money you have.
There will always be SOMETHING to want. We do not need the majority of the things we purchase.
I am 46 and I am just starting to get that. I don't want it to take that long for him.
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Your kids are lucky to have you. I am in my early 30s and still learning this. I wish I got it under control earlier.
Separate accounts at different banks.
Bank 1: credit card & salary account (credit card is only for active subscriptions and direct debit- fixed expenses). I automate the distribution of salary to savings from here.
Bank 2: variable expenses. Multiple accounts for different spending categories - all replenished weekly.
Bank 3: Savings. Multiple accounts for different savings targets (emergency fund, vacation fund, etc.). These days, i do this with an offset account for the mortgage by in the past it was just in high interest savers.
I only carry around the card for Bank 2. Bank 1 and 3's associated cards are locked in a safe.
Pro
Thank you for the detailed advice this is really helpful. I’ll have to sit down this weekend and see how I can implement something similar that I’ll stick with.
It's definitely hard, so what I do if I buy something I had to have, but don't need and don't use in 30 days, I return it. The good feelings I get from buying something is short lived, but seeing that money back in my bank account is that happy feeling again, but long term. Also, try reselling items on poshmark or mercari. If you have a lot of stuff try making money off of what's sitting in your closet. When I make sales it makes me feel good to put money back in my bank account. Hope this helps.
Pro
Oh I love to return! Huge dopamine hit lol. That helps with the impulse spending in a way. Seeing how much money I get back for something I didn’t even use once it arrived puts me in my place for a couple hours until I fall for another ad 😂
I am literally right there with you. I cannot seem to save any money and always have urges to impulse buy. I have tried getting it under control and nothing seems to work.
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It’s a never ending cycle. I feel like I’m doomed to always have a credit card to pay