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Between 3-5 messages has been my sweet spot
Last week I was feeling hot and asked in the first message. Was shocked she said yes but she mentioned appreciating me having a nice plan and being direct
Strong agree, like 5 messages back and forth is best
Now married to someone i asked out on the 4th message
Too much chatting makes you enter the friend zone. People are having multiple interactions simultaneously so just keep the objective (meeting in person) in mind. Also being too complete about yourself removes any remaining ‘mystery’ that makes people want to meet you
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I 30W, prefer to meet early as soon as I start thinking that I might like you, because I hate to like somebody and then meet them in real life and realize that that wasn’t it. Now this thing about this is a lot of people think they need to do this grand gesture date and really all we’re doing is meeting each other so I like to go on a walk at a park that is pretty common or a place that’s pretty familiar and then we walk and we see how that plays out we might sit down at the bench, and then maybe later you might say let’s go to the bar then we’re not dressed up or anything we’re just enjoying each other’s time and then I will know if this was the right thing for me
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Sorry 😞 maybe next time then
A few hours
Enthusiast
So glad the comments are saying this, to many folks are spending weeks talking and getting no where
A few minutes to an hour or so. You're spending way too much time chatting with someone you might not have any physical chemistry with.
Enthusiast
Same day, it’s seeing if they have interest in you or not. My results have been successful like that and my current GF, I asked out and met the next day.
Are you using one of the apps that let you do video chat as well? If the messages are going well you can always pivot to video, if that goes well then ask her out.
I’m not on the apps anymore but if we go a week messaging on it and we haven’t made a plan to meet or at least video call then I’m probably checking out.
I know bumble had video when I was on there. Just find your angle and have proper lighting. Maybe ask when they will be available so you both can look your best.
I've met several people IRL after connecting with them online, with varying degrees of success (briefly date, never going beyond "friends", even marriage). My fiancé and I chatted back and forth for a year before he flew to meet me last year (he's from another country than I am).
All of that is to say, there's no real right or wrong amount of time to wait before asking someone you're interested in out. If you feel like it's the right time *for you*, just do so. You never know what may happen!
Immediately ask them out...
Pro
I like a phone call within a day or two. I don’t want to spend time getting excited about someone who when I meet them is not someone I want to spend time with. A phone call helps me get a sense of their personality and if we will have banter in our conversation. Texting allows time to present yourself as witty, plus I stuck at responding timely to texts. Everything you say in an all day text conversation you can say in a 30 minutes conversation and I get a sense of your personality. This tells me if I want to meet you IRL.