I am 28M and my mother is always doubting me. Reason is i said I am loving an girl from other caste 1 year before and we broke up after due to lot of family drama from both families.

But even after that my mother is always doubting me even for small things like going outside and meeting with friends she got so skpetical. She is not like that before. She is a very good human and I love her but this kind of behaviour is hurting me a lot. I feel like I am living in jail. Pls help me what to do 🙏

likeuplifting
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Move out for some time. May be wfo.
That will help.

likeuplifting

Yo, this one hits home man. Here's how I am trying to handle this situation.

Mindset: I understood that the intentions of our parents can never be wrong but their actions can be. What they think they are doing for their child's good might actually be bad fot them. Once I understood that our parents are also humans, I started expecting less from them.

Action: Now I am more stoic to whatever my parents think about me. It's like I'm accustomed to it. Sooner or later parents will understand that nagging me ain't gonna work and they will stop bothering you (maybe behind your back, but not in person)

Goal: I am slowly trying to make them realise that I am an adult individual myself and am fully capable of making decisions for myself, that doesn't mean that I don't need them, I will always need their advice, but I need to make my own decisions and own up to the consequences if any.

I'm not sure if my approach is correct or not, but I was in your position 3 months ago and this approach has helped me alot.

likehelpful

Talk to your mother openly she will understand

likeuplifting

This won't work. Indian parents have a god complex they simply believe that because they are parents they can never be wrong about thier children. Can't reason with them, trust me I've tried

likeupliftingfunny

You cannot do anything about her. Please move out for ur own peace of mind.

smart

Then talk with her that u r not comfortable with this behaviour of her.

You need to convince your mom to cut you some slack. Irrespective of how your life has been in the past , you have moved on.
Even if it takes a bit of fights, it is fine. You deserve that bit of freedom. My mother's been like this and I told her I don't like it. Eventually she changed.
We need to tell even our parents sometimes sternly about what they want might not always align with what we want. In the long term, it would be for your own benefit.

like

Move out of your home ..take job in another city

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