I feel like gay men especially are constantly discriminated against in the workplace. I have been turned down for a promotion, yet again, in favor of a married heterosexual with kids. This has been the story of my career. Have superior experience - stellar reviews - people fighting to get on to my team because our team is great and I treat everyone well. This is so frustrating. Again and again, it’s a culture of parents helping other parents. No gays in upper level mgmt in our office.

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Not true in my experience… Have seen several gay men at top leadership positions at BCG and at client companies I’ve worked with (including a few law firms). If anything, in recent years I’ve noticed it’s not just the traditional CMOs and CHROs… have come across quite a few gay CFOs and CEOs which I had always assumed were reserved for straight

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^ I would say that is likely true - but I can’t speak to the experience of others. My own experience is macho culture of law practice - alienating gays.

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If you’re a white gay man, then idk what to tell you. Firms love promoting white gay men because it’s like “safe” diversity.

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Google “gay white male executives” and you’ll have all of the support you need. Gay white men can move effortlessly in corporate America because being gay is not a physical trait.

I wonder too — recently had a small dinner with my project partners and other senior managers. The entire time was spent talking about their kids - one of the other senior managers was expecting their first at the time.

I mean I’m happy for them but it was definitely..awkward. I had almost nothing to contribute beyond my guncle experience.

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I am in house now yes - have also been a litigator in my past legal life

I’ve definitely been promoted due to gay

likeuplifting

I have also been late due to gay more times than I count

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Yeah my boss hired an incompetent Director who looks just like him. During his welcome speech he literally said “and I really like that he also has a wife and three daughters.” You hired a version of yourself which I will never be (female, lesbian). I know talking about your kids softball tournaments is “safe” work chatter, but I’m tired.

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Yes - I am sorry you have noticed this too! I also did not mean in my post to imply it was just gay men, though it sounds that way. Compared to straight heteronormative “dads” (of the kind that actually have kids) they definitely have an advantage over us.

My previous employer I tried to hide that I was gay only to have a partner, who I was on good terms with, tell me he heard that I had brought a house with my significant other and some one of my “moral character “ did not belong at his firm.

A years later I took a pure consulting role with AJG and never felt more support and in my 25 year career

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Absurd- why I left private practice. Glad you found your way ✌🏻💪🏻

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I can relate. I’ve don’t nothing but be helpful and nice to people and sty to myself but it makes them irritated. Or at least that’s how it feels. Not saying this is the case for all guys, but I have noticed a difference in how I’m treated compared to other straight guys.

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Hand in there buddy ❤️💪🏻

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What do you mean by “gay men especially”? “Especially” implies some kind of comparison. Regardless, FWIW, I find being gay in the legal profession very isolating and I’ve also wondered whether and how being gay has had an impact on my time at my firm, which is very heteronormative. Are you involved in an affinity bar association at all?

You finally understood the question. Thanks.

likeupliftingfunny

Probably. But you’re asking a really good question that is difficult to answer beyond anecdotal experiences.

All workforces have poor data on LGBTQAI+ representation. Without data, they cannot effectively analyze and solution. But we, the LGBTQIA+ community, do not volunteer this data because (a) it shouldn’t be their business to know and (b) we do work in an inclusive society and/or business. However, we demand this be apart of the business agenda.

Based on your statement, I assume gay leadership representation is important to you (like the rest of us). I would encourage you to confidently lean into it and do not shy away. Make the claim to your leadership that your community is underrepresented at their level and you want to fill that gap - and - sponsor more gay men into leadership roles, at all levels.

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