I feel like I keep running into walls with the people I start talking to. It always ends up feeling one-sided like I’m the one putting in all the effort. The guys usually respond positively and seem interested, but they never take any initiative. I’m not expecting them to do all the work; I just want it to feel mutual. But even after a few days of good conversation, no one ever asks to meet up. dealing with this again right now, and I’m not sure how to handle it early on besides saying..

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something like, ‘I need you to show some initiative it’s kind of a turn-off when I’m the only one doing that. Does that come off confrontational

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I would say no don’t be confrontational like that in the talking stages. I think it’s more about having an enthusiastic attitude toward the person while also giving off the vibe “I’m interested in you but I’m also fine without you, and I’m not going to chase someone who’s not doing their part to throw the ball back to me.”

If someone isn’t answering you at that stage, don’t double message them, it makes you look more desirable. And if they don’t message back, they’re just not for you. No use in chasing.

Apps may not be the place you find someone either, when it comes down to it.

if this is just the initial talking stages/meeting someone off an app then saying its a turn off is definitely more confrontational. As opposed to saying something like “hey i’ve been really enjoying getting to know you, do you want to set up a day and time for a date”? this situation happens on both sides and it sadly common to a degree

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I have found men to be very out for what they can get online dating wise.

They are generally geared by what they see. Women seem more interested in finding a connection. It’s a bloody wonder the population is as big as it is.

Stop putting in effort. Find more things outside of romance to truly focus your attention on and be passionate about. Once you make people peripheral to your passions, they chase you.

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Did I say I don’t do that already?

What kind of effort do you put in at talking stage?

Hm yeah this is what I realized when I was on dating apps. A lot of people just suck at texting. I go straight away asking if they’d like to go out for a coffee or a drink with me. It works! Get to know each other in person, no time wasted on texting. Just have to be careful and got to have good judgment though based on their profiles. Haha I’m a female btw and I’m off of dating apps now. It’s exhausting 🤣

Sometimes we give too much too soon, hoping someone will see our worth. But the right person doesn’t need you to overextend, they’ll notice your goodness naturally. Let your kindness and confidence speak for themselves. The people meant for you will treasure you just as you are. I wish you the best!

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