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This doesn’t look comfy.
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Bottom line is she can’t do it on her own.
So that means committed family close by and / or live in nanny
It also means you should expect to saddle up and do some serious parenting on the weekends. So I hope you don’t have any hobbies!
Also make sure you talk through the trade offs in detail with her, and agree the basis - up front communication and team work are critical.
Is your change going to be permanent? If temporary, maybe makes sense to agree an alternating career focus - I will work my nuts off for three years travelling, then I can step off the gas and we can focus on you making headway. Make sure you think about the impact on her career too
Why would you do that?
@P1 thanks for the insight; I figured as much. My wife and I have spoken about it in-depth and it pretty much played out as you said. She's a lawyer and we both support each other pursuing our respective careers to the fullest (short and long term), so we have a full-time nanny locked down already and are already considering a live-in if necessary
My wife is a lawyer too, so the above wasn’t hypothetical.
Live-in definitely impinges on your privacy, but she will need the easy cover; it isn’t that with other models you couldn’t cover the times she needed to work late, it’s that the mental load of needing to stay on top of that would sap your wife’s energy and ultimately her commitment to her own work
You need a system that as far as possible works automatically or with minimal intervention, yet which keeps your children loved and happy.
And yes, I no longer have any hobbies either.
Good luck. Keep talking, that’s the whole ball game - be fair, and do it out loud
I stopped traveling m-th when my second kid was born. I just couldn’t go through it again. I took more of a geography based role rather than a content area role. Basically I threatened to leave if we couldn’t figure something out. I had an offer at a pharmaceutical company that I really considered taking. But I stayed because my leadership was extremely supportive
Probably slowed my career a bit, but I just couldn’t do it any more. I still travel, but not nearly as much. And actually my travel schedule is pretty great right now. I can be away and am extremely productive. Then when I’m home I flex a bit, pick up the kids from school, help with homework etc. It’s not always perfect. Sometimes I miss my kids games or my wife’s events. And sometimes I dial into big client meetings. But it seems to be working and everyone around me seems to understand.
Wow that’s rough. When was the last time you did m-th travel? It’ll be a huge adjustment. I did it when my younger son was a baby and it broke my heart. Sometimes when I came home he wouldn’t even recognize me and would cry not knowing any of the other details, I’d recommend against it. It’s no way to live. It is really a once in a lifetime opportunity, maybe but don’t rob yourself of being with your kids when they are little. A nanny even a live in is going to be a pain until you find the right one.
If you do end up doing it, realize that your entire weekend will be about your wife and kids, making up for lost time and missing out on milestones. Looking back, I regret traveling so much when my oldest was little and luckily I remedied it with my other kids
Pwc2, so how old were your kids when you decided to go back on the road (i assume you are traveling as a member of this bowl)?
Speak up. I’ve basically come clean to leadership, look I like this job but not sure it’s sustainable with M-Th travel. At the manager level, the answer back was sure sometimes it’s necessary but you decide what /when is necessary. Found it empowering and has kept me here 3 years total and with two little ones at home. Guessing I’m at around 20%for the year. See how you can swing it. Do one night or two night trips. Or leave, but it can’t hurt to speak up before leaving.