I have a coworker who I have become friends with but she texts me outside of working hours wanting to talk about work - mostly complaining about people or gossiping. I have stopped responding to her when she does that but I know I should be more direct, any advice?

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Kind is clear. Sometimes it’s best to be direct about what you want so that there are no mixed signals.

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Well said

If it were me in your position, I’d probably just tell her “We spend most of our time at work - I don’t want to spend unpaid time focusing on work when I’m off, ya know? We can talk about any subject outside of work, but I’d like to keep my free time work free 😁.”
Chances are she feels safe with you OR it’s just easier for her bc you guys have that in common and you both know all the players at work, so it’s easy to slip into.
If you like her - give her the benefit of being kind but direct. It’ll save you both a headache and give you both a chance to get to know each other better without just the work related topics that can consume your time otherwise.
Good luck!

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From both sides of the fence. So when I was younger, it was a lot easier to fall into it and was easy to bond with others. As I got older I started to value my peace way more than the topic of the moment. So whenever presented with this kind of thing after that, I would use this kind of phrasing with anyone that wanted to fall into the same patterns.
I’ve found it helps to keep the workplace more positive, I keep my peace and you can build stronger bonds outside of momentary work drama. Good luck😁

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I like the pot got canned, lol

Yeah let her know that is not what you wanna talk about when y’all outside of work.

Do not engage with the person. They can and will use any information that you have given. If it really bothers you, then you can tell them that this conversation is uncomfortable. I'm always leery about becoming friendly with people outside of work, it has a tendency to back fire unfortunately

Be direct with her tell her you do not wish to participate in work gossip

Just tell her you rather not talk a out work, outside of work. Tell her it's your time to recharge. I tell people that all the time. If they can't understand my personal time is mine, too bad.

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