I rattle myself when speaking with clients/seniors with thoughts like:
- “What if they misinterpret me?” which makes me backtrack the conversation and provide unnecessary details
- “Am I making sense?” which makes me second guess myself, ruining my flow

I want to have the confidence to stop second guessing myself when I speak. I’m afraid of coming off as an idiot, but I don’t think this is an appropriate way to think

How do I come to terms with this?

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You are speaking with another human. Think about them as such. Communication is a muscle that gets stronger as you use it. There are lots of frameworks for organizing your thoughts - use them. Don’t overthink the delivery. Speak slowly. Don’t rush through your thoughts. This will reduce the chances of repeating yourself. Don’t be afraid to pause. Quiet is an opportunity to take in some of the ideas you are sharing. If you say something that isn’t clear, but has a logical foundation, then they will ask questions... this is normal, and is often the sign of an engaged audience, don’t panic. If public speaking is a real problem then practice. Try toastmasters - it’s actually a good program.

helpfullike

An easy one is the minto method, also called pyramid principle. It ensures that your argument is structured in a way that puts your key point in front, and then supporting points, followed by details. It’s easy for others to follow - and is more or less what they taught you in junior high when you had to write your first real essay.

Just remember that no one really knows what’s going on most of the times, the ones who are confident just seem to know things

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Have you gotten feedback ever that you don't make any sense or seem like an idiot? If not, suggest looking up mechanisms to get out of your own way, thought exercises to boost confidence, etc.

I used to get the same type of anxiety when speaking with C-suite and VPs. What helped me was realizing they are still people. I came to terms with the fact that I’ll eventually make a mistake at sometime, and to really work on how to manage solving those mistakes.

When you know what to do to solve a problem or mistake, the front end part of actually speaking with senior execs becomes easier. In the short term, “fake it, till you make it”. Actual advice from my manager who was a superstar at our firm.

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