Rising Star
Related Posts
Conversation Starter
Chief
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
More Posts
Rising Star
Additional Posts in Accounting
Thoughts on the Keto diet?
TIL: I don't have rights as a public accountant
How often do you guys visit strip clubs?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Pro
Maybe the stimulants are good to avoid for now due to her age and growth? IDK, I’m not a doctor, I’m an accountant. But I did have my own engagement struggles in while in grade school, but never was medicated, and I after some rocky times, made it through. However, I do know she can always start them later on when an adult.
But back to the immediate focus of here and now, and how she can we get her meaningful help? So real talk, my first suggestion to everyone with kids in our present culture/social environment, I would respectfully suggest you need to find her a professional (possibly through trial and error) because she needs someone to be able to freely talk to (preferably in person) without fear of judgment or disapproval or immediate correction (which we all feel with our parents); an unbiased counselor/psychologist who is trained in working with adolescents. They are tenfold more valuable than gold. And you already know this, because you feel in your parenthood a 14 year-old shouldn’t naturally have anxiety, she shouldn’t feel like this, and that’s the reason why you are concerned for her, and why you believe she needs help. Which is good for you to feel, and good for her to have in a parent.
But why would talking with a professional help her? If it’s “just” ADHD and she needs to engage more, and if it’s “just” anxiety and she needs to get over it? Well we both know those are unfair reductions of what she is experiencing; we both know something needs to be addressed because she is struggling and isn’t able to “just” handle this alone.
But we also both know that what else is true, what I imagine is a potentially pervasive component of her experience, is the presence of social media lying to our children about where their value and worth comes from, which is the root of insecurity, which manifests itself as anxiety, and is a legitimately life threatening, insidious disease.
These lies she sees online, then hears at school, are then reinforced by social media and what people “like”, and then are again reinforced by the apparent desires of her peers. And I know from experience, this is absolutely exacerbating her struggle to focus in school more than even she realizes. I’ve been there myself.
So maybe start there? Find a professional who will take the time to peel back the layers, figure out her thought patterns, and establish a rapport with her (and you) so they can kindly and safely speak truth into her mind on healthy ways to think about things, and strategies on how to cope with what remaining ADHD she is struggling with.
She also will never not need an advocate, so keep up your pursuit to get her the help she needs regardless of the seemingly obstacles you and her run into along the way!
There is always hope! Keep up the good fight. Your daughter is worth it.
Good luck OP! Prayers for you and your daughter. DM me if you’d like to chat more. 🍀🙏🏼
Rising Star
Thanks for the thoughtful response. She just started seeing a new therapist (she’s been in counseling for years) so we’re hoping that helps.
I hate to say it, but most the people that you see here on Adderall are taking it to try to work more and stay sharp longer.... Not real medical reasons.
🙌 yup- adhd meds are severely over prescribed in public accounting so that people can be “efficient” for 13 hours a day 6 days a week...not because they truly have adhd.
Never tried shattera but I have been taking adderall since I was 12 and it’s a double edged sword. At this point I need to take it to get something done, whether it’s cleaning my house or reviewing work. At some point in my life I’m going to try to wean myself off it but it’s so hard.
Rising Star
We tried stimulants when she was 8 to 10 years old and it was hell. She was aggressive physically, threw hour long tantrums over the smallest of triggers daily, and developed severe depression. So we weaned her off the stimulants and put her on an SSRI which was a game changer in terms of mood, but did nothing for the ADHD. She’s failing 8th grade miserably and we’re worried about her going into high school when grades start to actually matter for permanent record, etc. Hoping if we tried stimulants again the SSRI would counteract any mood issues.
Isn’t Adderall just legal meth?
It sounds like getting another opinion from a different psych would be useful here. Or, if you haven't yet, talking with the psychiatrist about the why's of their decision and the fact that the current meds don't seem to be addressing the symptoms.
If the current med/dosage isn't working to address the issues it should be time for something new since everyone responds to different medications and combinations differently and their efficacy can change over time.
Have you tried a different doctor? I feel like some doctors don’t always try to help you the best that can/should be done.
I was on adderal in college and got off after 2 years. I began to feel that I could not function without, and didn’t want to become fully addicted. There have not been peer reviewed long term studies on usage over long periods of times.
Following as my 11yr old recently started Focalin XR & I’m not sure how I feel about it. She’s paying more attention during class but is still so hyper & emotional & everything turns into a mini fit or crying for 15-20 mins unless everything is exactly as she wants it to be.
I’ve tried a few others & she had bad reactions to them. Will be talking to her psychiatrist again about trying something else.
Strattera is basically an antidepressant but FDA approved for ADHD. If your daughter truly has ADHD her psychiatrist should give her stimulants.
If her reaction was that bad with stimulants then makes sense to keep her on Strattera. Therapy will help significantly I bet.
I read about learning to handle stress, pressure and anxiety by increasing it in a controlled environment. It was suggested trying to hold your breath for increasing 30 seconds increment everyday, also by finishing a shower by running really cold water, again increasing 30 seconds increment everyday. The body reacts as if it's about to die but the brain knows its not in real danger.
I haven't tried it yet because I'm not experiencing stress but i thought it makes sense as a way to train body and mind to be resilient. It's also free and can be done at home which is a big plus.