I’m finally standing up for myself and setting boundaries with my partner to address my codependency and enabling of them. It’s scary but I’m glad I found the courage. For anyone struggling with it, as much as we wish we didn’t have to, it hurts, but the relief really is soothing.

Whether you're a father by choice or by mistake, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO YOU! 😎

I love my SO. We’ve been together for nearly a decade and are talking marriage. I know being with him though will require living far from my family. I love my family and dread the thought of being far from them. My SO has been transparent about wanting to return to his home country. I don’t want to lose him but I also dread being far from my family. What’s the right call here? Fwiw he’s lived in my home country for about a decade now but has been able to visit his pretty easily (cont)

Safe to see friends this weekend?

Everyone who I want to like me or to hangout with doesn’t respond to my texts or tells me they are too busy. This weekend I reached out to 12 people to see if they wanted to grab coffee or a drink or go for a walk. The number of people who just didn’t respond astounded me. I ended up eating dinner in bed by myself and getting brunch on my own.

The only people who reach out to me, I don’t want to hangout with. I don’t have the same interests as them and have to try really hard… cont below

How many married professionals with young families are just sticking it out “for the kids”? Marriage is very dead and has been for a while. Young kids 4 and 1. My wife and I don’t fight, but share 0 interests outside of the kids and can’t stand to be around each other. I’m so ready to leave… I just can’t bear the thought of doing it to my children even though another part of me feels like wife and I would both be better parents if our lives were separate. Anyone else done a similar analysis?

To those who divorced or called off the engagement, did you take the ring back? And if so, what did you do with it?

Gift ideas for GF dad? We have been dating a year and a half, I get along with him super well. He is dealing with some medical complications so isn’t to active at the moment but loves cooking and golfing. He is one of those guys who already has everything he needs, and they are super wealthy so I feel bad getting him any clothing or accessories knowing it wouldn’t be as nice as the things he wears, although I know he doesn’t expect anything and would genuinely appreciate anything I got him

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

Do you think you and your significant other should have similar personalities? My significant other and I are doing long distance and I feel like when I FaceTime with him, I emote more and show interest by asking more questions but from his end, he doesn’t always have a reaction or just nods, and it makes me feel like he’s uninterested. On his end he sees it as he’s comfortable.

I’m (early30s) about 8 months into a relationship with a 40m. Things are wonderful in every aspect, but he is absolutely atrocious with his finances. I felt it becoming an issue about two months ago. He forgets about auto payments and just generally doesn’t care. I sat down with him and looked at everything and even after talking it out he still continues to stress and it’s now causing me stress. I had a final discussion with him today about it and he went on abt how love isn’t enough for me…

How are people managing WFH with their kids? We have a 2 year old and 5 year old and my partner is also wfh. Small condo, no nanny. It’s freaking insane and my husband and I are fighting every day....

Married men of this group,
What advice would you like to give to the younger generation who are single/about to get married?

Sometimes when my spouse snores i’l flick them real hard and they will wake up panicked and I’ll say “ are you okay? It was just a dream a bad dream...shhh just sleep” and then they will calm down and fall back asleep with less of a snore 🥴

Does anyone have good advice on moving with their cats? We're moving for the first time since adopting them and I think they know lol. They really hate going in the car or carrier under any circumstances, but I'm also concerned about adjusting them to the new home

Just found out that my favorite aunt, who claimed I was her “favorite” niece, chose to leave all her valuables to her other two nieces who never visited or called her once in the last ten years. My aunt passed away suffering from cancer last year and didn’t have her own kids. I was there by her side throughout her battle. I still wish I had done more, made her life easier. I probably sound petty, but a part of me is forcing me to re-evaluate every interaction I ever had with her.

What are some myths you all have heard to figure out if you’re having a boy or girl?

Question for those who are married or about to be : how did you know he/she was the one? And how long did it take you to realize it?

Did anyone apply resignation and then got retained back with higher package? If yes, pls tell me what is the timeline like when did they send you revise offer letter and when did you withdrawn your papers? Also is it good to revoke the paper(Heard after revoking, management might put extra pressure on you). So pls pour your views..

"Fleet message, fleet message" anyone as annoyed by that little voice as I am?

What are some questions people ask for lateral interviews?

Joining IBM in December. under 30% tax-slab.
How is my tax calculated, will IBM ask for my prev. comp Form16? (or my ctc is prorated for Dec,Jan,Feb,Mar)
at least for the 4 months of this FY I need full sal. in hand.
How to proceed. I wish my JB comes without tax deduction.

What is the salary range for a non IT business analyst working for a healthcare company?

Any recommendation after 13 years experience in data engineering how to hunt job in walmart?

Looking for any communication roles. 10+ years of experience in public (local and federal government consulting) and private sector. Either remote/hybrid, or in the DC metro area. Thanks!

Can anyone suggest a good therapist in dt Toronto for someone in their 20s?

What is the pay range for supervising associate?
Yoe 9.5

Anyone in NYC area have an actual office instead of open floor plan? #CantTakeItAnymore

Fishes need your help on decision making, of course it's a regular post,, got offer from accenture for team lead level 9 with fixed ctc of 17.45 LPA + 1.75 joining bonus + 27% variable pay. Is it ok to join to that level and CTC ??

YOE: 6.8
SKILL: SSIS
CTC: 13 LPA Fixed + 10% variable pay

I got Botox (forehead) for the first time this weekend. It’s starting to kick in and I really don’t like how my forehead feels so tight when I try to use my brow muscles, it’s a weird sensation. Does this feeling go away? Or do you get used to it? It’s not painful just strange.

Sharks and other fishes,
I need some career advice,
In my current company I think the development portion I've been given is kinda simple, I've asked my manager and seniors to level up my work and stuff, *which they did* but I kinda caught up.. now what should I do, should I ask them to level up again or look for better opportunities
Also, I had some Interest in CyberSecurity and I grinded it on my pre-final semester at Uni, should I try on that path as well or should I stick to development?

How does sleep affect your medications effectiveness? Do you feel like you need X hours of sleep for your adderall/vyvanse etc. to work properly?

The older i get the more i think everyone i know has a personality disorder

FINALLY found my motivation after 11 days of busy season... at 2am... when I have to be to work at 8am the next day.

Another good senior gave notice today 🥲 don’t blame her one bit and wish her best of luck - I just wish our firm would’ve treated people better so that people at least don’t leave during busy season (we are filing in 3 weeks). Now I am seeing a lot of people leave during even busy season.. and I would’ve too if I had an offer

Anybody struggle with imposter syndrome as a minority? How and why? Need some coping strategies man.

How is the SAP consumer market practice at PwC?

Curious to hear the story of anyone that has overcome or going through cocaine addiction. Given that people in this bowl make enough money to support such an expensive habit. Take me through your story - how bad did it get in terms of daily consumption and total money spent? Please share if comfortable.

Went for a pre-employment drug test yesterday. They never asked me if I was on any medications. I had to ask them and was told "oh yeah, just put any you may think make a difference in this text box." I put Xanax, Flexeril, and gabapentin. All of which are prescribed and used as directed. Now I'm terrified that I should have put ALL my meds, to including my psych meds. I've been sober over 12 years and never touched drugs (just booze) but I'm having a full blown panic attack.

Any meditation stories on recovery anyone willing to share? Did you have break through moments during meditation?

I joined a new team and have noticed something off with my Director over the last months (slurring speech, no show to calls or even full days of work). I finally asked a colleague about it today because I’m concerned about my Director. She confirmed that she’s noticed the same over the last few years, but no one ever says anything. In confidence she told me she can often smell alcohol. How can I help? I feel helpless. I’ve already lost someone to addiction and I can’t ignore this. Any advice?

Problem gambler here having to deal with multiple payday loans. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle? Been in a situation with pay day loans in the past? Any guidance would be great.

How do you know when dependence turns into addiction? Where’s the line?

Any interest in doing a daily reflections thread? In the spirit of rotation one of us would be responsible for posting the link and kicking off the share for a month at a time??

I messed ups no need help. Idk where to turn.

Hi. So grateful for this bowl! I’m 16 months sober. Fairly new to ACN just curious what types of challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve overcome them?

I buy things I don’t need and don’t know how to fix it. I always blamed it on “drunk buying” but I’ve been sober for 355 days and it persists. I know I buy things in an effort to fill a void and try to feel something so I buy “things” but it doesn’t help and I know it. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Just taking the opportunity to get current. Sober 3 years and 10 months. This past couple weeks have been stressful and my mind slipped into fantasizing about my drug of choice. Last week I flipped out at some of my wife's family. I did an amends and I think time will heal this one. It's all up to HP. Although I have neglected my morning practice this week, I'm practicing self compassion with positive self talk.

Pause. Breathe. Proceed.
⏸ 🌬 ▶️

1 week sober! Over the last 12 years (I’m early 30s) I’ve reached this point just a handful of times. Alcohol is deeply intertwined into my social life much like everyone’s is I imagine. Feeling clear minded and energized. Want to stay clean for my own mental and physical health and for the benefit of my wife and children. Just starting this journey so thank you in advance to this community as I’m ready to learn from you all and be a part. Let’s go!

Hey all, just claiming my seat on a Saturday night. Was just struggling and another comment helped me get back to a healthy space. If anyone is struggling tonight, know there’s one fellow here thinking of you

Had a really bad day 😞 I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Things will be going well and then out of nowhere I get blackout drunk. I am tired of feeling sick and anxious from drinking. I don’t really even want to drink sometimes but do it anyway. Blacked out last night, and still feel sick now. I’ve never shared with anyone that I have this problem, until I found this message board. I have so much anxiety that I won’t be able to get this under control. I feel isolated and sad.

Social media! I find myself mindless scrolling through LinkedIn and responding to random shit. I put the phone down and pick it up again without thinking.

My SO is an alcohol abuser but has said he knows it’s a problem and would like to cut back or quit. Any suggestions or advice in how to help and cope with this. He becomes a different person when he drinks. I want to support him but don’t know how or where to start.