Is it inappropriate for my Male coworker to tell me I look “so beautiful today?” We have about a 2 year age gap. Granted I did have a nice outfit on. But I still feel it was likely inappropriate? He also then said “I’m not trying to be a pervert. But you look so beautiful. “

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I think this is different than “I like your shirt, hair, necklace, etc. “ I think it’s very weird to call a colleague beautiful. Especially if you’re not friends or talking about anything like that.

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I’m an employment lawyer and you can comment on people’s appearance and it not be weird. “I like your new hair cut.” “That shirt is great, where’d you get it? I’d like to buy something similar for my (fill in the blank” However, this guy’s comments are verging on a pattern and practice of inappropriate behavior. You’ve got a few choices: 1) be extremely direct with him - “your comments are making me uncomfortable- like I’ve mentioned to you before. So we don’t end up in HR - I’d hate that - let’s keep the comments professional and appropriate. Can you agree to do that?” 2) you don’t have to confront him - you can go straight to HR and tell them he’s making you uncomfortable. They’ll do an investigation- you never know whether he’s saying things like this to other people too. 3) report him through an anonymous hotline if there is one. (I like this the least because it makes it difficult for HR to investigate and unless there are multiple victims, you’ll end up being outed eventually.)

Hopefully, your company has had sexual harassment training? You can always mention that to him too!

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Not appropriate. Gross.

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ugh just take the compliment geez

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No dude, no. Clearly you are a male, and cannot understand how a comment like this comes across. Never have I ever looked at a male colleague and thought “wow, he looks so handsome” and proceeded to say that shit out loud. Followed be “I promise I’m not weird! Promise!!!” Keep your feelings to yourself- this is not a “compliment” - full stop.

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This is really inappropriate

Uh thanks. Then walk away. Totally inappropriate.

No, don't thank him, even with a tone. This guy is not getting it. He needs to be told directly to stop it, and then this should be elevated to HR.

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Creepy for sure.

Ordinarily I’d say its no biggie, but that fact he mentioned the word “pervert”….it’d come across more professionally if he simply said, “you look nice!”

This is inappropriate. I think workplace compliments are nice, even cross-gender, but I stick with the thing I’m complimenting. “Nice haircut,” “great suit,” “love the bowtie,” etc. (yes we have Bow Tie Friday at my office!) If you had a nice suit on, he should’ve said “that’s a nice suit.” If he was trying to flirt, he still also should’ve done better. You don’t come out the gate with “you’re beautiful.” That’s date night talk.

I would have responded “try harder please”

Lmfao this was my exact thought.

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Ew omg no

Trust your gut

Absolutely inapproriatr.

inappropriate*

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It’s an innocent comment. No need to go ruin a guy’s career by blowing this out of proportion unless he has some history of bad behavior to you. Sincerely/ a female lawyer

I don’t believe I was blowing out of proportion especially if you read through the earlier posts you can see some of the other comments he’s made to me. Additionally I was not posting to “ruin” anyone’s career. If I were I would have included his name in the post.

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