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How about job security in wipro?
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I think this is different than “I like your shirt, hair, necklace, etc. “ I think it’s very weird to call a colleague beautiful. Especially if you’re not friends or talking about anything like that.
I’m an employment lawyer and you can comment on people’s appearance and it not be weird. “I like your new hair cut.” “That shirt is great, where’d you get it? I’d like to buy something similar for my (fill in the blank” However, this guy’s comments are verging on a pattern and practice of inappropriate behavior. You’ve got a few choices: 1) be extremely direct with him - “your comments are making me uncomfortable- like I’ve mentioned to you before. So we don’t end up in HR - I’d hate that - let’s keep the comments professional and appropriate. Can you agree to do that?” 2) you don’t have to confront him - you can go straight to HR and tell them he’s making you uncomfortable. They’ll do an investigation- you never know whether he’s saying things like this to other people too. 3) report him through an anonymous hotline if there is one. (I like this the least because it makes it difficult for HR to investigate and unless there are multiple victims, you’ll end up being outed eventually.)
Hopefully, your company has had sexual harassment training? You can always mention that to him too!
Pro
“Trying not to be a pervert” just makes it worse because it’s like he’s acknowledging this is inappropriate and borderline pervy but he’s going to say it anyway 🙄
Enthusiast
Ew, this guy is a creep. I would feel uncomfortable! I would definitely keep a written log of this. Is he more senior than you?
I don’t think commenting on people’s appearance is appropriate at work pretty much ever.
I agree I think unless it’s like someone you’re very close friends with or maybe someone who has asked you out / expressed interest prior and it wasn’t rejected
On its face, seems innocent to me. Is there a history of odd behavior from him?
Just read the context you provided below. Definitely weird. Sorry this guy is bothering you so much!
Yes, especially with all of the additional context you’ve provided.
Thank you everyone. This is just the tip of the iceberg with regards to comments he’s made to me. But this was very validating. Thank you all so much.
Report him. What a predator.
Yes, this would creep me out right off the bat.
Conversation Starter
express how you feel and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. if he says it again it is inappropriate
Conversation Starter
oh I didn’t see your edit. the pervert part makes it inappropriate. especially because you said something before
I think the context and prior behavior is important here. I have a male colleague who I work with all the time. We’re both married. We respect each other both personally and professionally. We attended a ball with a bunch of other coworkers in NYC (not our home office) and took a cab together. He told me I looked beautiful in my gown, but I was also just back from maternity leave and he knew I was struggling with some appearance concerns still. 100% appropriate and I appreciate that he knows me well enough to know what I needed to hear in that moment. I also have a skeez ball coworker who later that night told me I was a hot MILF. Not appropriate! Intentions are everything.
This is a great example of friendship and support vs. shit you should not say at work because it is inappropriate.
Rising Star
“Not trying to be a pervert BUT”???! Boy gtfo. If they have to say “but” after explaining how they’re not a pervert (or a racist or a sexist or whatever), there’s problem and they know it
Lol, prob flirting. But he sounds normal?
There is more hidden in replies to comments - like mentioning she had changed the “scent she was using.
Rising Star
Given the totality of what you’ve presented he definitely is not on the right side of the boundary for work (or honestly even a male friend in your friend group). I’m not sure what the right response is, but I 100% would give validity to your feeling here that this is crossing a line.
Yes, that is inappropriate.
We had this issue with a male partner and some female associates. Turns out there were a group of them he was making comments to. One felt comfortable telling me, told me about the others who I then spoke to and I advised them to go to HR together. I’m a new partner and this is a more senior partner. If you know he’s making these comments to others, there is strength in numbers. HR investigated but because it wasn’t clear which female associate reported it - none were treated differently by the other partners which is exactly the outcome I wanted for them. The comments were similar to the ones you are experiencing borderline creepy but not overtly sexual. They made the partner go to additional training. At my prior firms, nothing happened for this kind of thing… no investigation and certainly no consequences for the partner. I know they all continue to work together and there haven’t been further issues.
Rising Star
He should have said - you look nice today. Is he generally awkward? If so, I’d give him a pass and speak up next time (e.g., I appreciate the sentiment but it makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my appearance). If you don’t want any comments on your appearance at all, that’s your prerogative and you could say something like the foregoing next time regardless. The “not trying to be a pervert” lead-in is really weird and makes me think he may just be somewhat clueless. A real perv isn’t likely to flag it like that IMO.
This dude clearly doesn’t get it and thinks you think it’s funny or cute the way he *tries* to compliment you. Men like this only escalate. Shut it down. Quite frankly, I would tell him to refrain from commenting on your appearance because he’s grossing you out. Make sure you say the grossing you out bit, otherwise he won’t take you seriously.
The attorney I worked for in law school was 9 years older than me and if he liked how I looked he would say “cool outfit today!” It was so sweet and respectful. Wish more men were like that
As an aside: the women above saying it’s fine or give him a pass are weirding me out. Y’all have either never seen a man escalate or you’ve been treated so horribly you’re desensitized to all their weird behavior.
I’ve had male colleagues comment on my appearance. It has never really rubbed me the wrong way, but “beautiful” is not the term used. Think that’s a little bit different than “attractive”, “good looking”, “you look nice”, etc.
I changed the entire way I present myself at work to avoid comments like this. I had a male coworker call me “hot” and I threw away all my pencil skirts and heels. Sucks I had to but I don’t regret it. I get taken more seriously now.
This is awful
HR. Document.