I’ve recently started seeing a therapist. We’re 4 sessions in and I’m having trouble gauging how it’s going and whether she is the right one for me. So far she is taking the time to get to know me but it hasn’t gotten meaningful yet. Lots of chatter but the few times where I think I’ve put a problem out there that I’d like to address, she says things like, “we can work on that” or “that’s totally normal”. Is it too early to judge? Is there something I’m not doing? Is she not right for me?

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I would think that by four sessions in, you would have a pretty good idea if the person is a good fit. I had a therapist recently who I just didn’t click with. Maybe you could tell her that you would like to focus on something to try to direct the conversation more? It does take time for the relationship to develop though. Curious to see what others think.

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I have had a few therapists at various stages in my life and also switched due to cross country moves. Do you feel comfortable talking to her? Does it seem like when the time comes to get into these things you can be fully honest? That is the important part to asses right now. She needs to get a solid overview of your life and traumas. These are the things that drive your actions so will help her to help you. I always wish those first sessions were longer so we could get to the “good stuff” sooner. That being said, if you are feeling like you want to get into some things now then you should tell her. The therapist patient relationship is all based on trust and openness. If you are having doubts or questions about the process it is totally ok to discuss those. If you feel like you just aren’t clicking with her then move on and find someone else. Congratulations on starting therapy, it can be really amazing. If you are open to it would love an update on what you decide to do.

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I hope it all works out for you!

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