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Hi all, recently in touch by Spotify recruiter for a Sec Engineer position for remote EU and was told that range was 60-80 out of base salary and equity. Had 2 years of security experience out of my 4 years. Was also told that there is no bonus scheme or no sign in bonus 😕 Not sure how I feel about this tbh.
What do you think?
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Up late working on a pitch. 5 beers in. AMA.
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Chill out man. Y’all didn’t even have kids yet. Either of you may change their mind in a few years.
No need to be frustrated or this.
If you just discussed it with her she might stop asking repeatedly
Enthusiast
Your wife needs a hobby. Also - and I hope you’re sitting down for this - people move to smaller or larger houses all the time. They even have TV shows about it!
Enthusiast
Why is forcing kids to share rooms harsh? It’s why bunk beds exist. Growing up my family had 4 kids in our bedroom with the second bedroom a playroom/library/additional storage. We went 2 kids in each room instead when the kids ranged 10-14 years old.
I’ve literally never had my own room - had roommates in college dorms, and shared my bedroom with a SO/spouse after college.
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Why are you thinking about this when you don’t even have one child? I’m 1 of 3, my husband is 1 of 6 and my Dad was 1 of 12. I thought I wanted 4-5, had 2 and was ready to put a fork in each eye. Plans change.
Tell your wife that you have plenty of time to think it over. By time you have 3 children, you could live in a different house or have a different job. FYI - also tell your wife that these are 1st world problems. My dad shared one room with his 5 brothers and the 6 girls shared the other room. In the grand scheme of things, unless you live in a studio with 3 children, it’s really not that big of a deal.
The likelihood of you being in that house with all 3 needs being born there seem low but who knows. There are also phases that both of you seem to not be thinking (newborn vs toddler vs 5 year old vs 16 year old) that all will have very different needs. We have 3. Two share a room now (we have a guest room and a separate room) and they’ll get their own rooms probably when they are older
Wait - we have 3 with a 6 year gap between the 2nd and 3rd. Could not imagine being without my 3rd.
Chief
Having an argument about something that may or may not happen in at least 3 years is bizarre. Don’t you leave your sox on the floor to have something more current to bicker over?
Will they share a socks drawer or do they each get a dedicated socks drawer?
There are only four drawers total, 2 adults (I’m feeling generous today) and 3 future kids.
Enthusiast
What’s an effective way to help get to cross this bridge when we get there? I feel like I can’t get her to stop obsessing on these future state decisions.
Persistent response! You aren't doing anything wrong by helping her understand your side. Of course, always find the right opportunity to talk... Take her for a drive, get her a coffee and then talk! I am a wife and it works on me. Yes, we'll be upset if we don't get our way but there is always a way if there is REASON!
Lol. How can even someone think too much about kids and that too 3 of them when none of them are on way(i assume)
Not sure why there are such negative comments that are going after this husband and wife, y’all realize you can disagree with something and be kinder about it right?
Anyway, I do think there is a bit of immaturity here but nothing that can’t be fixed. No you’re not being selfish but the hypothetical of it all is carrying a lot more weight than it should so maybe a non biased third party can step in? It’s a bit tricky but with more open communication and understanding I’m sure you’ll both reach to a decent agreement and I hope you do!
Chief
Y'all just need to chill and wait till you have kids, you may not even be fertile
Conversation Starter
BA1 coming up top with a sledge hammer. No chill
Bro just tell her yes even if u had 3 w their own room that can’t happen until 2025 at the earliest if y’all went back to back go back. Change her mind later. When they are born she’ll probably want them to share or you can at least put in a new office/room or just buy a new house. Don’t waste time arguing over this when it’s not happening any time soon
Pro
If you don’t have kids yet, why is this even an argument right now? Have one as your office, by the time you have 3, you’ll likely be ready for a larger home anyways.
Pro
You can change things around if needed but you don’t have kids yet so why even care? Things like your kids being the same gender and all that jazz is out of your control so…again why even care? Makes no sense to commit to something that’s not even remotely on the timeline yet and can easily change. Life doesn’t work like that. Every time I’m on this app I see issues coming up that should have been discussed and worked out way before getting married and especially before buying the house. Just compromise with her on it. Explain the office could just be a temporary thing until it’s time for the third kid. If she still has an issue then she just wants to have an issue and she’s being immature. Definitely should have been discussed a long time ago though. Having an argument over something that hasn’t happened yet is….ridiculous.