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Hi fellow fishies!
Can someone please explain what is “SUPPLEMENTARY allowance” in my payslip??? It is the highest in my entire payslip, more than basic salary. Basic is lets say ₹7 lac annually and supplementary bonus is ₹7 lac 40 thousand.
Can someone please explain why this exists in my paylslip, is it good or bad from tax perspective and shall I ask my HR to decrease it???
Please help asap.
Opus Consulting
Rising Star
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I dont have a ton of advice except I feel you. I have a 2.5 year old and after a long day of a shit show at work I deal with tantrums and potty training when I get home.
I take deep breaths and try not to take things too seriously. And give in when necessary for my sanity.
For example, some days we eat dinner at the family table and other days we do “drive-bys” where we literally let him run around the house and feed him bites in between him playing around. 🤷🏼♀️.
Anywho, youre not alone. Hang in there. We got this.
I feel this. It is so hard. Do your best to leave your shit at the door and have some fun with your kid. Last thing i want to do but play helps us get through tough shit. Let them tantrum. Their brains are tiny. They just want their feelings validated. Just remember momma, this too shall pass. The book No Bad Kids helped me.
Move dinner around...we do dinner table, kitchen island, then portable dinner on the ottoman. If they flip their shit I do a complete reset and move dinner to picnic mode in the playroom. Is this the best practice for table manners? No. But it gets us through our week.
Also remember that if they’re so tired they won’t eat, it’s ok for them not to eat. (You’ve probably been there too, right?) They’ll shake it eventually.
Rising Star
We were having a hell of a time with our first with eating, particularly dinner. A couple things really shifted my approach in a positive way and we no longer fight about food and eating. First, my pedi told me to look at eating over a week not meal to meal. She said most kids get the majority of calories in the earlier part of the day when they really need it. She also said: trust them. They will not starve themselves. The other thing that was a HUGE help was when I discovered Ellen Satter’s division of responsibility in feeding. The gist is: the parent is responsible for what, when and where and the child is responsible for how much and whether. I just...stopped trying to manage my child’s eating. And you know what? She still eats. My second kid came after the switch from managing the eating to allowing the child to choose how much and he is a MUCH more adventurous eater, even at 4 now and I wonder if the lack of pressure from us encouraged that. But I feel you! Two is the height of pickiness!
Pro
My son who is 6 will not eat anything. How he sustains himself on air, I do not know. I have given up. Either he eats what I prepare (which is typically kid friendly) or doesn’t eat. My sanity is worth something too. And if he’s hungry enough he will eat.
I have two boys under 3; they both get the same amount at the same time of day and the oldest can stretch his lunch to 40+ minutes ‘grazing’ while the youngest is done in 7 minutes. 🤷♀️
“He/she will eat when they are hungry” is what I tell me self. Sometimes letting it be and letting them get hungry is better than the fight to me.
Another mom of a 2yo here. I probably cave too much and make her food she likes too often... it's a lot of chicken nuggets and mac & cheese, plus pouches to get her veggies in. After my commute, picking her up from daycare, my dog from doggie daycare, and my husband from the train, we often don't even get home until after 7. She gets reheated favorites that I can make within 5 minutes and then she eats while I cook our actual dinner. We try to expose her to new foods whenever we can, but with our schedules it's just not realistic.... :(
I do pouches and smoothies to get in and veggies too. I find myself wondering why no child likes veggies. If they’re so good for us, shouldn’t it be instinct to eat them?
I am maybe a bit more removed from this as the mom of 9/13 year olds. But don’t force it. This isn’t about food, it’s about emerging autonomy and control. Put the food on the table you’re serving and let them eat what they want and how much they want. End of story. If they don’t eat enough, they learn.
Agree with just letting them do them. I get so tired with trying to enforce rules at this age (my little on is 2 as well). Better for everyone’s sanity.
Thanks everyone! Really helpful advice. And makes me feel better we're not in this alone. Solidarity!