My gut tells me the consulting life (or any similar careers with 60+hr work weeks) may not be worth it by giving up so much of our youths and time in raising families for long run financial gain. Curious to hear from older folks here on if they chose the money path or the WLB path early on and why you do / don’t stand by your choice.

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Great experience for 3 years as you learn a lot. But, never again

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Yeah agreed. Right now my experience seems to mostly catch eyes of other consulting firms which doesn’t help but hopeful market gets better

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Consulting doesn’t have to be 60 hours a week. Anyone doing that consistently will burn out eventually. I put that many hours in when I worked in industry and wouldn’t do it again. And, if I had a do over. I’d put more emphasis on WLB.

That said, I feel 50 hours a week is a reasonable number given the remote work options available in consulting. And it still provides a decent WLB.

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Hmm yeah remote would make a world of difference for sure. Honestly that’s how I survived most of my time at my last firm (joined post Covid in the remote era) but as RTO came through - it didn’t make sense anymore

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I did it for 10 years and recently left for an industry role. I can definitively say it wasn’t worth it for me. I missed a lot of time when my oldest kids were little, incurred a lot of unnecessary marital strife, and spent my 20s and early 30s way over-fixated on a career which I eventually determined to only be important insofar as that it gave my family a certain standard of living. I might have a higher income than I otherwise would, but it isn’t life changing, f-you money. Could have given my family a relatively comparable quality of life on $100k less. But I’m also primarily in this to provide for my family. If I were single and childless, idk how I’d feel about it. Probably still not worth it.

On the upside, you gain a lot more experience and a moderate level of competency across a lot more disciplines and skills than you would in another career, you learn to deal with ambiguity and stress in a way others don’t, and you develop some useful political/soft skills of which most corporate people aren’t even aware. You also get to travel on someone else’s dime, but a lot of that is inside a windowless team room and it’s not that expensive to travel for fun, especially if it’s just you.

likeuplifting

thanks for sharing that and that makes a lot of sense. Im married and have a kid and hence this whole questioning of if its worth it

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Consulting enabled me to travel to >20+ countries for work, had amazing experiences, and also make enough $$ to retire before 40 to travel the world with my spouse and kids.

I did work insane hours in my 20s and early 30s but it paid off. However - the tricky part is recognising how much is enough and when to get off the hamster wheel for your own sanity & health. Some folks get sucked into lifestyle inflation/prestige/$$$ and hence find it hard to step away.

So while it’s had its ups and downs, I am grateful for having chosen this path and being lucky enough to have made the most of it.

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Atkins1 my perspective is start putting value on your time. If switching to that new role means a net increase of X work hours, then are you ok giving up that time? (Beware that on paper 60-70 hrs sometimes seems doable but it comes with reality lifestyle sacrifices)

Another way to look at it is: if switching to the new role (more prestigious) is a reversible step then why not? Assuming you can come back to your firm or similar if you want - then no harm in trying the new path

Lastly, it’s funny you quoting the ‘insecure over achievers’ thing. that’s what they told us at LEK too and I totally thought it was an LEK thing only. But if McKinsey is saying that too, oof - might be a known koolaid flavor these firms are serving up to attract talent. And seems like it’s pretty effective because like you, it rang in my head too when I joined LEK!

The money was good and enabled some good experiences for my family, but looking back, I missed a lot of quality time with my kids that I can never get back.
I did change my focus a few years ago to caring more about a meaningful WLB, which has made a major difference in stress reduction and overall happiness.

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Hmm thanks for sharing that and I’m glad you’ve course corrected in alignment with what you wanted. There’s many years ahead still so best of luck!

You know the saying, “The pursuit of wealth at the expense of health, just to turn around and spend that wealth on one’s health”? In the case of family vs career timing, I’d say it’s “The pursuit of career progression (wealth) at the expense of family (health), just to turn around and spend the wealth on someone else to take care of your family” - time and experience and kids’ impressions which you don’t get back. In other words, I know too many leaders who pay for someone else to take care of their kids and do not spend time with them because of work.

My story and lesson learned perspective:

I focused on my career until I hit 32, then took dating and relationship towards marriage seriously. So did my wife (she was Accenture on the partner path when she quit- Accenture knew the statistic of high performers leaving in early 30’s for family WLB pursuits so they threw a bunch of income raises and stock equity at her to go partner and she turned it down). I married at 35, 1st kid at 37.


I wish I was married at 28, kid #1 at 30, followed by kid #2 at 32-33. Reason: you get really tired and therefore somewhat limited in both family stuff and work stuff raising kids in your 40’s. Having a significant job role (like I do) will almost always require odd working hours and that conflicts with raising kids under 4 years old. I get burned out really easily trying to WLB a huge role and the demands of kids.

If you want family/children then go, it’s more valuable than income and you’ll realize that your identity/ self esteem and happiness will be more tied to it than the job.

My two cents

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SC1 totally got ya. My throwing money statement wasn’t in response to yours. I agree that being able to provide a good life for kids financially is a good goal to have

I have a magic salary number I need to hit, projected to achieve early retirement. The second someone offers at least that much, I’m out to a much less stressful job. Consulting is just the fastest way available to me to accelerate my income.

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Me? No sir I was at a very wrong firm and recently left haha

I found that consulting provided more flexibility than a comparable career in industry. When I was growing up in my firm, all of my clients were in the office, 8-5 (at least), M-F (with an occasional client who worked 9-80, aka every other Friday off). While I worked more than a 40 hour week, I had more control over my schedule and was able to do more with my kids (school drop off and pick up) than my peers who were chained to their desks.

I also found that when I was doing well, my supervisors basically left me alone. I had more freedom and more flexibility than I would have otherwise and yeah, the money was pretty good. If I had hated my job, it would not have been worth it - but I didn’t hate my job.

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PwC1 - perhaps now, but that really was not the case when I was establishing my career. No one in industry worked remote and you were expected to be at the office unless you had an explained reason not to be. I knew plenty of execs who struggled with this - it wasn’t just those in the trenches. Work from home was simply not a thing.

When my kids were little (they are young adults now), I was able to achieve decent balance because I had a few local, long term clients and no expectation of being behind a desk all day, every day. Being able to find that is what kept me in consulting.

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Agree with your posting. Been in consulting for all of my career and now doing my last project. When I hear of people starting out their careers I caution them strongly about the consulting path. I was a road warrior all my life and ended up marrying too late for children - so missed a key part of life. Everyone is driven differently and having worked in many countries I find US to be a country of "hustlers". Not in a bad way - just that a lot of people work hard for their treasure. Prioritizing 9-5 and family life is great - but don't begrudge the people that put in longer hours etc and they may get the bigger raises or faster promotions. I have found covid to be a blessing in my consulting line (do large scale global enterprise system projects). Travel is a fraction of what it was and there is a lot more empathy for people's home/personal situation. I wonder if it is ebbing away with things like amazon requiring 5 days a week in the office and no wfh any more.

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Thanks IBM I agree. I do love that about the US but I think as you’ll see in our newer generations like Gen Z, they’re realizing there’s more ways to get the American dream vs. working a ‘cubicle / office’ job. Hopefully that drives changes over time.

SC1 I agree. But it’s so difficult and easier said than done. I worked at a T2 and sooooo many people reached out on LI to get a role. So there’s a 100 people willing to work those terrible hours or culture to get into a high paying consulting role and replace the 1 person like you and me thats trying to be an agent of change. Employers know that all too well

I did it until I had kids, then I cut back hours. By then I had established myself enough that I could do the work I wanted ( yes I did get less pay, but I was doing less).. I liked my work. I liked it better and found it a better use of my time than watching TV, playing video games, or getting wasted. But that's me. It's amazing how much time you really have if you really track your time. I still read a new book roughly once a week ,( often more if traveling), worked out at least 5 days a week. Went out with friends after work and did fun stuff on the weekends. After I got married, we both worked those kind of hours. Kids change things IMO. They are more important than work. They also trump going out with friends after work and your weekend activities change.

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OP if you need acvountability ( and frankly we all do at times) I suggest engaging a friend or relative. Like having a workout buddy. Discuss plans and schedule a lunch in a month to give them a progress report. Or do it weekly. You could even to a 3 minute standup daily for the first 2 weeks to kick start. Heck, ask your mom, guarantee she would hold you accountable. Really, most people who hire life coaches are really just paying people to hold them accountable.

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Yes, I should have added flexibility was a big thing that a "regular" job at a desk wouldn't have provided. There are so many hybrid and remote jobs now, if you have that option, there may not be as big of a difference

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