My MIL is physically handicapped and does not want to live in an old age home. No one to take care of her except wife and BIL. Struggling to find a solution without her moving in. Suggestions?

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Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws. But my wife and I are trying to have a nuclear family most of the year unless we have no other option.

Hire live-in helper and let the siblings share costs. Expensive maybe. But you will have no regrets later.

Try A place for mom- they have decent in home helpers

Do not let her move in. You need to weigh what your family wants and needs versus her going to a old age home

There are plenty of active adult communities where handicapped people are very easily accommodated. They offer all levels of assistance from independent living to full time assistance depending on need. The cost can vary depending on the level of service needed. My dad lives in one, and while he is not handicapped, there are many residents who are.

But I agree, do not let her move in with you. My mom and her brother shuffled their mother back and forth between their houses for years until she passed. As a young kid it was fun at first to have her there, but as her health deteriorated, the amount of stress put on our family was unbearable, and watching it occur as a 12 year old was no fun.

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