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(Cont.) Im happy I finally took the plunge of sobriety. As a father of a two (both under 3), it helped me realize how it took away my ability to be fully present. Wasn’t neglectful or anything but I feel invigorated to be the best version of a parent, husband, and professional. But really, I’m just so happy to start being the best dad I can be. My dad had a spotty presence for reasons and was absent during adolescence. For a lack of words, dads are crucial. He came back around the end of college as a stage 4 brain cancer patient (RIP pops). Even tho he wasn’t around, he was an enigma and I’m proud to have known him for the brief amounts of time I had with him. I’m sure he had reasons and I forgave him.
I’m ready to give it all to my beautiful wonderful kids and break the pattern. They deserve the best version of myself. I always felt stupid and unworthy and unloved, and I’d die before putting my kids through any of that.
I do wish I did this earlier before my kids were born. I wake up easier, have so much more energy, watch way less movies and tv, and feel a lot more driven. My confidence is much higher and I feel way more sharper. I’m proud of myself bc it’s been a crutch since college age. However It’s only been 2 weeks tho and I don’t want to jinx it. But it’s the first time upon a sobriety break where I don’t even miss the consumption, at least not more than appreciating the new outlook. Next is working out, eating more healthy, and going to therapy, but I just wanted to share this anonymously.
And for anyone who’s struggling with addiction, I empathize with you. But I also want you to know that while it may be scary to let go of your those crutches, you have the strength to rise up (if you are addicted to benzos and heavily alcohol use - please be careful going cold turkey because it can be dangerous.)
And if any other awesome dads can impart wisdom of similar experiences, I’d love to hear it.
Welcome friend. We have a thriving community on FB: https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_31ajcir1yk
This is really uplifting to read, thank you for sharing. You got this!