One of the managers on my team continually throws me under the bus to the whole team even though I have proof to back up they’re wrong and it was their mistake. It’s just so infuriating. I have to just suck it up and take it even though I haven’t done anything wrong. When we’re 1 on 1, they admit their mistake and apologizes to me but also gaslights me. To the team they says it’s all my fault.

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Time to kick that up to your career counselor and/or start looking for a new place.

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I'd happily stand up for myself on the call, and simply state "I'm not sure where the interpretation is from that I'm at fault, I have the email chain showing x, y, z"

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*you’re

Start by asking him in 1-1 why he is publically blaming you. Use the response to guage if he is forgetful about what really occurred or deliberately not taking accountability. If its the former, ask and give him a chance correct his behavior and explain how this behavior is damaging to your well being and career. If its deliberate, escalate to leadership with multiple examples and how he apologized and admitted wrong doing. If they do nothing, go to HR. Being a bully, lying, manipulation, lack of personal accountability are all inappropriate behaviors that contribute to a hostile work environment. Document EVERYTHING

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If the 1-1 isnt an option then go directly to Leadership and/or HR. The moment your false reputation of messing up shows on a performance eval or review, its much harder defend yourself then. The impression that you are prone to mistakes is damaging to your career.

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Yep time to go

Sounds like a jerk. I promise not all managers are like that. Can you roll off to a new project?

I’m so sorry. If you were on my team I wouldn’t gaslight you! I hope you have a better situation soon and a more enjoyable team for your next engagement.

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If it’s in front of the client, don’t stay anything during the call. If it’s just on internal calls, speak up!!

OP leaveee this sounds dangerously toxic and may ruin your career.

Please also warn the next person when you get your footing. Ugh sadly stuff like this happens a lot and the M does it because he/she keeps getting away with it.

Do you guys have a coach or HR person to talk to?

Yeahhhhh, you should dunk on that guy

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