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Partners, directors, senior managers... What are your thoughts on male managers taking 3 months of paternity leave (assuming your firm has such a policy)

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I’m on partner track. Option to take 16 weeks when wife goes back to work. Planning on taking 8 initially, but starting to think I might take it all. I have a strong team of managers and seniors and if it did have an effect on promotion such as a delay I wouldn’t be furious. If it meant not promoting I would of course be mad. I probably won’t have any more kids and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. With our first I took 8 weeks and still worked a bit (and charged my time when I got back). I also want to set an example for younger men in the team that family is way way more important than any job and would be happy for them to take 16 weeks too. It won’t affect our business, but we plan sensibly anyway.

likeuplifting

You're one of the good ones

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Take the benefit and be with your family. There’s no amount of money or promotion that could be more valuable than the time you get with your newborn. Also, think like a business owner in how you plan ahead to take the time. Great communication and planning ahead of time so that a team around you is ready to take on your project load while you’re away makes a big difference. Also while you’re away be willing to give small windows of time each week to answer questions and redirect client requests to help the team supporting your leave. If you take the leave without planning ahead and dump your responsibilities onto others, leadership could see that as employee mentality and it could delay your career progression. When approaching how to take the leave ask yourself, if I owned the business what would I need to do to make sure it remains successful while I’m away.

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Take it. Don’t let your fear of what other people think rob you of precious time with your child. If it’s your first one I highly recommend it and if it’s your second one with a small toddler then I recommend it even more. Use this time to support your wife. She didn’t get herself pregnant and people need to understand that a male role model in the house to support means everything. If they say anything tell them to come talk to me and I’ll say it in a more colorful words.

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Wife is due with our second this year and we have one who will be 2 when the second is born. Keep up the great work y’all!

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They earned it and should the time off to assist their spouses.

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My 2 cents... Everyone is replaceable on a job but you are not replaceable to your family

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Amen 🙏🏼

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Coming from a new mom who’s husband is in law enforcement and gets nothing - and from a mom of a preemie who spent 2 weeks in the NICU - Take. The. Damn. Time. The baby needs you, the mama needs you, you need that time. You’ll never get it back, be there, be present, and soak it all in.

likeuplifting

Thank you that’s so sweet!

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I took 2 months in a promotion year without issue.

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As a relatively new mom, I wish men would take it!! I think it’s a huge step in lessening the gender pay gap that mostly exists between mothers and men. It would set the expectation that a new parent will be out for 3-6 months regardless of gender. There is a good episode of explained on Netflix that gets into this.

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I think it’s the firm’s fault for not staffing and planning properly. It’s not like the person just up and left one day - there is typically 6 months to plan and the firm shouldn’t offer leave if they’re not going to staff appropriately.

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Exactly. I can see this being more difficult to do in industry where there isn’t much movement in positions, but really there is no excuse in public accounting. We are so interchangeable for a reason. Heck, when I joined the firm in tax I immediately got reallocated for six months to a different group (outside of tax) because of a large firm engagement that needed bodies. None of us are that special that we can’t be replaced.

Deloitte has same leave for birthing or non birthing parent. 16 weeks. Can extend with short term disability depending on your state if you’re the birthing parent. But mom/dad/adoptive parents - Deloitte’s leave is the same otherwise. @gt1

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I think I would get fired if I asked for 16 weeks... hah

3 months in the grand scheme of your career is nothing. The first 3 months of your child’s life, however, is important time you’d never get back. Take the leave.

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As a female I say do it and don’t think twice. You’re working to support your family. Take advantage of the time off to be with, and support your new family. It’s life changing for you as well. Congrats!

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I’m torn on this one so would love to hear the thoughts of upper management!! At the end of the day I think that I would look back on life and regret not taking the time if I did not take it, but it would be a lot to ask of my team during my leave. Thanks in advance for any PPED or senior managers willing to share their thoughts!!

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Do it!

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What firms allow that unless you are primary caregiver? (Meaning your wife goes back to work and they make you certify you are the main caregiver).

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I want what Deloitte has. General care leave to take care of a family member who is (most of the time) not a baby. 😁

Our firm gives 6 weeks to new dad's plus of course your 5 weeks of vacation and 5 days of sick. For the first kid I took two weeks off initially, back to work 2 weeks, took another 2 weeks off, back to work 2 weeks, 1 week off, back to work 2 weeks, 1 week off. I still monitored email once a day just to make sure things kept moving, and it was summer time, but it worked really well. It was nice spreading it out and getting to be home during different parts of the first few stages. I say definitely take the time - the help is needed at home.

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Please take it. As a heavy senior manager aiming for partner, I fully support any team members to take all leave. We are offering this benefit and the more who take it the more it standardizes across the firms and trickles down to other career paths that do not have these benefits. EY finally updated the policy to be fair to men and women and there is no longer a primary caregiver requirement. Take your time. Celebrate your family which is irreplaceable. Remember that men taking time helps push women forward by standardizing the experience and the ability for women to get back to the workforce. If you want to do something to accelerate your wife or daughters careers, take the time off.

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I’d like to add that I only ever see men ask this question. Imagine a woman senior manager asking about only taking the 6 weeks disability vs the entire leave. Generally speaking, almost no one would support that, as it would look bad from a leadership perspective that our women don’t take this important benefit and it sets the wrong example for our future women leaders. Be the example we want for the future of our firm and in society in general. That’s how all of us move the needle. And to clarify, I have taken the full benefit and not had any negative impact on my career, in fact I would say positive and it is time I will always cherish.

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I took the 16 weeks and then added my 6 weeks of PTO set to expire on top. If you don’t take the leave when you have the opportunity you are a moron to the highest degree.

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Take the parental leave! This is time you’ll never get back. There are 9 months to prepare before the spouse gives birth. Plenty of time to plan from a team perspective.

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