What is wrong with me? I live in dread that I’m doing a bad job and that my team members/leaders hate me and I’m going to get fired. It makes me dislike my job...But then my CC pings me and says he’s been hearing that I’ve been doing a great job and thanks me. Why am I like this 😭

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Posting as :
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Our brains do this to try to protect us.

likehelpful

My fellow fish, it is time to exit

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Impostor syndrome yo, gets the best of us. If you feel it's a lot, make sure you take a break. You are doing good work, just remember that

likeuplifting

It’s not all internal, it’s also fostered by culture and PTSD.

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Dude/Dudette I’m the same, with the added layer that if my DGL pings me to say he’s been hearing great stuff, I’m skeptical and assume that they are letting me down gently kind of an anesthetic 🤦‍♀️

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Same here! Or when my CC pings me and says “hey” and doesn’t respond for a while I have a heart attack and I’m like well this is it, they’re letting me go. But that’s never the case. We’re just too hard on ourselves sometimes.

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Change your mindset and the internal dialog in your head. Those thoughts will create your reality, so if not today someday you will be hated by your team if you continue this way. Write down 1thing you did well at work each day religiously at night, even if it's just, "I stayed in mute the whole time in the meeting" or "I didn't hit Reply All". Eventually your mindset will change. By thinking about what will be your one thing all day, you'll start to notice what you are doing well instead of focusing on the negatives.

helpful

Why don't you ask for feedback from your project on a regular basis. Its a healthy way of knowing where you stand and where you can improve. LOOSE the fear

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You’re human. Nothing wrong with you, we are just a weird species.

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