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If you are home buying in Texas, Colorado, or Georgia, consider Homeward- they make all cash offers and buy the house for you. Then you rent from them until you can buy it back from them with a mortgage or after selling your current home. I worked with them last year when making offer in Austin, Texas. They are very easy to work with and I had my offer accepted. Whether the fees and risks are worth it is a personal calculation, but it makes your offer competitive in an insane market.
https://www.homeward.com/about-us
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Personally, I wouldn’t be too comfortable if my house payment was anything more than 33% of my take-home paycheck. That’s where it leaves enough room to feel comfortable, even when bad things happen: lost jobs, pay decrease (temporarily during Covid), etc.
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28% is probably difficult for housing in HCOL areas.
My methodology is to assume that childcare, if needed, will cost an additional mortgage and to also assume that for any rental property tenants may also not reliably pay rent…. So personal residence mortgage should be cheap enough for you to comfortably afford 3….
Seriously, this is what we did, so we capped our mortgage at something like 20% of monthly income. We are in suburbs of HCOL area.