What skills are hardest to coach? Particularly when it comes to soft skills.

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empathy

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I have to agree with this. Its one of those things that I dont' even think you can learn if you do not have it. Its either you have it or you don't.

also... the ability to provide negative feedback in a good way.

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s1 so true. I guess where i was going with empathy is also for people not to be condescending pricks when talking to clients.

uplifting

I've worked with people who just had trouble holding up their end of a conversation. And it's one of those things that's more or less instinctive, and not entirely coachable. There are techniques people try, and they can get by. But some people are just not attuned to be effective conversationalists.

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I think social skills in general, the ability to speak confidently, make eye contact, make small talk, understand humor and subtlety. I think everything specific can be taught but if someone doesn't have a baseline sociability, you'll never be able to teach them

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Some people can’t listen to the client and just “get it” meaning the problem, the clients communication style, the solution they’re after, the requirements, etc. Those that can are magic.

I don't know if it's the hardest, but Emotional Intelligence is a big one. There are a lot of things we can learn if we can learn Emotional Intelligence.

One of my toughest coaching sessions and periods during my leadership career was when I was trying to coach “approachability“ to my senior. She was a world of knowledge and awesome at her job, but the feeling on the floor was that she wasn’t approachable.
We took about a year to work on it and we got it turned around. Your people have to trust you enough and want to move in their career to the next level enough to where they will take the feedback that you’re trying to give them and fix the problem. In my experience that has been the toughest area to coach.

Ability to provide negative feedback

Ability to offboard or fire

The ability to understand how to build a team fit by their strengths and not assuming a one size fits all mentality

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