Related Posts
Anyone here 40s never married, no kids?
Do you believe in life after love? Ed does!
New to Chicago - how do I find new friends here?
Pro
More Posts
Are you saying leadership seminars don't work?!?!
Conversation Starter
Additional Posts in Mental Health in Advertising
I’m sick of living in NYC but can’t go anywhere.
Bowl Leader
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
I am so sorry, I can’t imagine what that felt like. Though we don’t have all the context, this sounds more like a projection/reflection of them. You are of course worthy of time energy and presence. I hope they find the healing to apologize to you, and hopefully one day you will be able to tell them how that made you feel. Sending you love
It depends though. I’ve also been on both ends, and although I didn’t see it at the time I understood eventually why I was cut off in the past. And for the people who I cut out, although I wouldn’t tell them why exactly that was it all came down to the energy they took from me.
Love for others is important but not as important as self-love. I’m only speaking from my own personal experience, but the people I have cut off were constantly negative, refused any sort of help (victim mentality) and drained all my energy/time without regard for my own mental health.
Like I said, I never told them bluntly why we ended to spare their feelings…I did more of a slow fade out, but perhaps something like this is happening to you? Not saying that’s you at all. I obviously don’t know your particular situation but either way, I hope you get the closure and respect you deserve.
Your best bet is to just ask them what happened. Or if the pain is too big and you feel like this truly came out of nowhere, then maybe it’s best to just cut off all communication and walk away. Wishing you lots of love and people who can reciprocate your needs. ):
That sounds like an incredibly painful experience. The last month must have felt almost unbearable at times. I hope that you have some resources for yourself outside of your relationship with this person. If you don't already have a therapist, see if there might be someone a friend can refer you to directly. Folks in that line of work are booked out right now but a personal referral can often get the door opened quickly for a new client.
Whether or not they are aware of the pain that they have caused you, you deserve to be loved. We all do. And based on the profiles I see on the dating apps, people are in a lot of pain right now.
I've spent the majority of the pandemic alone and it's taken a huge toll on me. As much as we like to talk about being self-reliant in popular culture, our nervous system needs connection to other nervous systems to survive. While I don't have more information about your situation, I can imagine that severing a meaningful connection feels dangerous or impossible. And at the same time, staying in a relationship with a chronic disconnection happening between two people is another kind of trauma.
Reach out to others who you know you can safely share your pain with--the kind of friend or family member who can listen without giving advice or trying to fix things for you. Building some perspective outside of this painful relationship might be helpful.
If you decide to hold on, try not to shame yourself for that choice. I'm sure that the other person has their own reasons for saying and doing the things that are hurting you. Maybe this is temporary. Maybe it's not. In my experience, those things don't change unless the other person is actively working on their own personal challenges with a therapist and even then, it's a long and bumpy road.
Do what your body needs you to do to feel as safe as possible right now. You can make other choices down the road if you decide that the one you choose now isn't safe and supportive next week, next month, or next year.
Sending you a really big hug.
be willing to be vulnerable and open [ trusting yourself] find a way to possibly talk with the person , letting them know that you felt really hurt and discovering why they told you what they told you. if you get an open and compassionate response then it can be a time of discovery for both of you, leading to a stronger deeper bond . If the person dismisses you, then ask yourself if that is a person you want in your closer circle. than you can send them love and release it in your life. This is an opportunity to think about what is important to you and the people you choose to be close to . What values are important? ie: compassion, honesty, warmth. perhaps write them down and then write down what you value in that person? hmmmm.... every person, animal , plant, mineral on this planet has value! including you!!!! :)
Hi Patricia, I hope you are well and your year is starting off well. I did reach out the other day and let them know how the past 40 days of silence and their words made me feel. In return and correct me if I’m reading this incorrectly. But I believe I was gaslit.