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"Yo, I have to work long hours because it's my job, don't get shitty about it, it's out of my control"
Literally for what reason. You both know busy season is coming and what it means. What's the point of him being pissy? I can't stand when people are shitty when the situation can't be changed and the shittiness just makes it worse.
Some good play time on bed would do it 😉
I think you are both just humans and sometimes can't control emotions after little sleep and a lot of stress. I think you just need to build in some fun time (Netflix and chill) and remember to apologize once you say something mean (after you have a chance to cool down). I don't think you'll get through busy season with a smile on your face every night, but you can try to mitigate the damage each day.
My wife gets frustrated when I get home late every night. Maybe leave work once a week to have a date night so he sees you still care during these crazy hours
The only thing to do is try to carve out some time for you and him every week. I suppose there's worse things than having a husband that wants to hang with you. But he shouldn't let it get to him, he knew about it before and there's a foreseeable end.
Quit
Surviving busy season for me and my husband is 1) set realistic expectations, this includes different working hours based on the week/job so there are no surprises 2) take time each day/week to spend time with my spouse to make sure they know that they are still a priority, this includes intimate time as well as uninterrupted conversation 3) remind them that it will be over soon 4) thank them at the end of the busy season (or after each deadline) by doing something special or giving them something that shows you appreciate them and know that it is hard on them when you work the long hours. But at the end of the day if it causes too much trouble, bye bye public accounting
Oh and to add, don't be a dick and bring home that work stress.
@seniorTA1 both- he trys to be understanding at first but that wears off after about a month. Then It's hard to not be grouchy when I come home and he's already in a bad mood
@CH1 yes, he just misses having a normal amount of quality time
Have you considered looking outside public? I understand the career aspect, but if this is going to be a big issue long term wth your husband, maybe you should consider jobs outside the profession. There's tons of corporate jobs that pay better than public (excluding partners) with a much more manageable workload. Otherwise husband is gonna have to just suck it up. There's not much you can do when you're working 70-80 hours a week.
Plan a Saturday night away twice or three times. There is no reason to work Sunday, so book a hotel for a random Saturday. Get all fancy Sat night, destroy the bed, have brunch Sunday.
@SS1 - yes, tell the team you are taking off one day (half a day) because you're a human with a life who won't let a job dictate your marriage.
Also, I doubt you're working 14 hour days Sunday to Saturday. I hope you can take a little time for yourself...
I'm on more of the same page with you then
@SS1 I've spent my time in B4 and did not work a single Sunday. And I'm continuously recruited by my old partners, to work alongside than, not for them, so I must have done something right. I do agree that more than 6 hrs is required. I've been able to carve out 15-20 min every other day at worst to have a real conversation with my spouse during busy season is a real help too. We all must prioritize and commit to action. Make changes as you go or live with the results.
Point out that you make more money than your spouse and pay most of the bills. They just need to deal.
What are the specific issues? You are grouchy? They are mad you aren't around?
Have you asked him what would make him less moody?