What would you do if you expressed concern to your manager about your work/life balance because you have two children in two different schools, both play sports and you’d like to ... continued below

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We have a flexibility agreement and I get my work done. I just think it was incredibly rude to state that having children are life choices, implying in a negative way that they should not be priority. Too late now as this was several months ago, but I was so tempted to go to HR. It was incredibly rude in the moment

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Oh I agree, that the manager handled it poorly. I am just suggesting that you make your requests and advocate for yourself for specific times/events. I'd put it on your calendar too. I've found that helps with the "where is so-and-so" game that so many like to play.

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... spend more than a couple hours per day with them before bedtime, and his response was, “you made life choices and you need to make it work.”

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Specifically request flex to go to events. Work late afterwards and get your stuff done. It's worked for me outside of busy season. And even occasionally during. If you don't request things specifically I'd imagine it's hard for anyone to anticipate exactly what you're requesting.

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I had a female SM with kids tell me that I "put my kids in too many activities"... but well, that's why I am on a flex arrangement while she wasn't. Everybody makes their own choice on how to raise their kids... it doesn't make a different choice wrong.

Maybe the next life choice is that you need to work with a different manager. The Big 4 always make a big deal about being in the Working Mothers "best places to work", but not everyone truly support it. Yet when you land with a team that does, it can really work. Just need to communicate, communicate, communicate.

Tax Manager 1, what’s your arrangement like? I actually asked for options around a flex schedule today. Just want to see if I have any options

It has varied over the years and at different Firms. Started with approx 40 hour average work weeks (85%), down to 23 hour average (50%), and back up to 40 hours. It's hard to keep weeks even due to the nature of PA. It's deadline driven, so work naturally clumps together closer to return due dates. It will take tweaking until you find the right fit for you and your family.

Thanks! Giving me hope something is possible. I actually work on the technology side of the tax practice, so I know my situation is a bit different

OP - agree that response is ridiculously rude. People like that are who cause others to leave. I had someone come to me with a similar case and they ended up leaving. All supervisors need to watch how they say things- putting things more respectfully and talking thru an issue can make a huge difference.

OP, if someone said that to me then I’m looking for a new job the next day. Be real with your partner, obviously there’s going to be busy seasons but outside of those maybe go home at 3 and work when they go to bed from 8/9 until 12. Sleep 6-7 hours and do it again lol

Person was flat out rude no excuse period for it. I am always shocked of how people with little to no relationship skills get to the point where they are leading and supervising individuals.

You should just act in accordance with your priorities. If being there for your kids is important then leave work so you can do that. Be a great parent, even at the expense of being highly rated at work.

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