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I cried for months and then I got chickens. Now I don’t cry anymore lol. Try chickens.
Chief
For starters, you will be amazed at how much your groceries and utilities will decrease without teenagers. You will also now be able to have conversations with each other about non child related topics. Additionally, more time to do adult things.
It gets even better when the last one is done with college and on their own as your disposable income will skyrocket with fewer expenses.
All of that is true. My last one rolled off the payroll in May 2024 with a degree and a FT job. I...i...have disposable cash.
You will slowly find joy in seeing them thrive and make there way. Just find things that make you happy, reinvest in friendships that you didn’t have time for before, focus on your long term health and fitness! And know that you’re not alone and give yourself grace as you’re on a journey too! I always thought that because I have a career, there would be little transition when my last one left for college. And while I do think the transition was easier because much of my life continued as before, I was still caught off guard by how much I missed the daily contact and just being with my kids! My first one off was a girl and she was more open to regular communications so that made the departure easier. My second one, a boy, resisted contact and that was tough! But he eventually came to appreciate our love / concern and now at 27, regularly seeks time with my husband and I! And to be honest letting go of the reality that for all practical purposes, I had no more control over their daily choices was a tough pill to swallow! I also think I prepared myself because I reminded myself (& them) the entire they were at home growing up that my job was to raise them so they could LEAVE me and their dad and live a life on their own (& of course always be part of our lives!) And once I was able to relax and take a step back, I could watch with pride (& yes, sometimes worry) as they navigated college and their first jobs … and seeing them happy made me focus less on my sadness. Of course, there were bumps along the way and both of them leaned on us for support which I know for a fact isn’t always the case with some kids and their parents. I was so happy they knew we were always there for them but also held back on always stepping in so I could demonstrate confidence in their abilities to thrive on their own. A few weeks ago, I watched my 30 year old daughter walk down the aisle and that was an amazing feeling of joy and confirmation that she was fully and officially launched!
Time to (re)connect with friends, find new hobbies, maybe travel (sustainably of course)…
Agree with all of the above.
A wonderful time in life!
It's hard to let go. However, independence can only be earned by being independent a bit? I bought a dog.
Our kids are 20 & 22. It was hard when each of them went to college. My SO retired during pandemic but started volunteering with a charity and spends about 20hours/week doing that. We take vacations with the kids still, and last year I did a spring break vacation with one and my SO did one with the other (they didn’t have the same spring break). I wish they would call more. My younger one is very busy with school and our older is busy with his friends and activities. We have told our kids that we intend to relocate near them once they have settled. I’m not sure they want that but we are serious when we say it.
We are open to the idea of having more than one home.
You need a dog. They are the best.
Until they graduate and get their own place with their own job that pays all their bills your nest is not empty. But now you can refocus on you and your spouse, reconnect with friends, volunteer, do all those things you didn't have time for before.
If they do something like Be Real or aFBStory or any of the disappearing apps kids do, make sure you have access. It will help you stay connected without being in their pocket.
My husband still sends a have a great day text every weekday morning and she's now 27. He gets an emoji or something similar back. So we know she's okay. I am sure at some point it will turn into her knowing we are okay.
Yes, it gets better quickly.
The real ouch is the first big holiday no one comes home.
Yes, that doesn't change the first Christmas being a bit sad.
On the flip side, if your parents are still living, reach out to them more. They want to hear from you, just like you want to hear from your kids.
I may have drank too much wine for the first year. I didn’t realize how much I would miss them. Then the pandemic hit in Sophomore year, wine again. I still miss having them around because they’re fun, nice people. But we are used to it now, we golf a lot more and do more things with our friends.