Does anyone have any solid dating advice for me, a recent divorcee who was married for a long time

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"Intimacy" should be intimate - do not rush to sex, it's not going to be fun if both of you are in bed still carrying the baggage, not yet sure in your bond. Things can get complicated quickly.

You're not 20 something. Really. Physical, mental, and financial health will make or break the relationship. It's the reality of life.

Imagine living with this person - if your gut says no, listen to it and act accordingly. Do not lead people on and be respectful of their time and goals. Do not commit to someone that you can't see following to the end of the world, because that may very well be their goal.

Do not be each other's therapist, do not trauma bond - this is unhealthy and likely to backfire. Exposing your scars early may not be a good look and may even hamper things. Your story is yours, no need to get emotionally naked unless it somehow makes your bond stronger.

Less is more - oversharing, planning your future together, overlooking transgressions, etc. Not many people can be attached to an insecure daydreamer with no boundaries or self respect.

Date at your level: if you're successful and your partner is a constant mess - it won't work out. If you are a professional and he's a struggling artist - it will end in tears. If your friends are all educated and successful and your partner never finished school, comes from a broken home, and has no friends - it will be a short relationship. A step up or down won't be as noticeable as several miles of stairs apart.

Most importantly: You can't fix anyone.

likesmarthelpful

This is very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to write it out. I think the part about trusting your gut and not wasting time is especially a great point.

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Don’t compare. Don’t be skeptical.

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Relax, take your time, don't be in any form of rush. Learn from your previous marriage, your wife/husband probably wasn't the whole problem, you have faults too. Be ready to be a better person before you choose again.

Don't get fooled (because of sweetie pinky beginnings).

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depends. male or female?

kids? age? reason for divorce? statistically you most likely initiated.

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