Folks Need some help. How do you separate work stress from your ‘non work’ life effectively? Work is hard and my stress level and mood get carried over outside of work, relationship is falling apart.

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For me the biggest issue was untangling my identity from my work. When I’m able to do that I can work hard without a lot of emotional energy.

I may still have trouble ramping down mentally or physically, but after a couple drinks and a good nights sleep I can focus on family.

Took about 15 years to get to this realization.

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I wish there was a silver bullet but here are a couple of things that can alleviate it: 1) do something that allows you to physically live your emotions such as running, dancing, exercise, playing sports, yelling, whatever that allows you to get that stress physically out of you at least temporarily, 2) intense engagement with your thoughts away from your SO so that you can self reflect, plan to reduce stress (therapy is one solution, support groups is another), 3) radical acceptance: what is the worst that can happen? You will be fine after that. You will live. It’s not worth losing your mental health, 4) show vulnerability to your SO and bring them to be part of the solution (doesn’t work with many people; you know your SO better)

likeuplifting

Work out

You just need to work, when it's work. Switch off after work and don't even think about it. Take a deep breath and relax and always find someone to talk with especially your SO. Also pray to find the strength to know the difference between the things you can change and those you can not.

It's not easy. I used to be on call 365 days a year 24 hours a day, including during PTO and holidays, and left because I could never fully switch work off.

I've developed hobbies that help me focus on fun rather than obligations. Also have dedicated time that I spend with my SO to have fun. It's just little things that we do together like walking the dog or cooking dinner that help build a solid foundation.

Figure out what you want, prioritize that and be okay with the downside. I’m assuming you need to set boundaries with work. Perhaps that means you take an extra year to get promoted but is that so bad? If the promo is what you want the most, be okay with not being able to give your current relationship what is required. Can’t have it all friend. I hope you can find acceptance.

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