Related Posts
Conversation Starter
Pro
Anyone here want to be a friend can ping me..
Conversation Starter
More Posts
I should have been an engineer.
Visual Storyteller
Flat refusing to look at me
Additional Posts in LGBTQIA+ 🐠
Rising Star
Any Gayglers (Gays @ Google) here?
Twink reporting for duty 🥺🥺🥰🥰
Pro
Carl Nassib 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Conversation Starter
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
29M here too! Been in a monogamous relationship for almost 5 years. My bf has always been pretty against being open. I think his personality is conducive to just being happy staying home most of the time—no need to be at the clubs.
Chief
I’m willing to bet good money that half of those on here in monogamous relationships have partners who are not as monogamous as the poster things.
This isn’t limited to gay people either.
Chief
JLC1, I have no problem with people being in relationships. No one hurt me. Lol. I don’t even want to be in a relationship. I think it’s just naive to think that most people are in truly monogamous relationships.
I’m a male and around 30 years old, and my male partner and I have been together for over 5 years. We have been monogamous the entire time, plan to stay that way, and are planning for children. People like us definitely exist, despite what a lot of people — both inside and outside of the gay community — will tell you.
While I acknowledge that what your saying happens, it’s such a pessimist outlook on life and relationships, and it’s a symptom of how broken and warped so many gay men’s outlook on relationships are. But I know I’m not going to change your mind.
All I’ll say is that society, and our community, tries to jam down our throats the thought that (1) all gay men reject monogamy, and (2) all gay men either are cheaters or will eventually open up their relationship.
Would you be saying the same thing to a straight couple? If you would, that’s fair. If not, then why do you think gay men are any different? (That’s a rhetorical question, I already know your answer)
10 years together.
5 years married.
Monogamous.
Getting ready to adopt.
Regular sex life.
You’re just meeting the wrong guys.
It gets better 👍🏽🌈😬
So good to hear! Why did you choose to adopt vs use a surrogate?
I’m in the same position! I’ve decided that in a few years I’m going to go down the kid path alone if I have to. Certainly isn’t ideal, but I’m not going to hold out on an exciting part of life waiting for a partner.
SM 1, mid life crisis says "what have you got to lose?". Where you at?
How old are all of you? I feel like this desire to have kids and a family and settle down happened recently to me (I’m 29M). Wonder if it’s a natural hormonal thing or something…
I am in the same head space too. Where ideally I would like to settle down in a monogamous relationship and have kids.
Chief
39M, in shape, looking to have a child, and open to having a stay at home hubby.
Chief
what if it was pear shape 🍐 not in shape??
OP, 30M here and I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember.
I've had 2 long-term relationships and one medium-term relationship. All three were monogamous and my partner wanted kids. These are two big things I find out / align on from the very beginning.
Chief
To me - few things turn me on more than knowing that my guy and I share intimacy that just belongs to us and no one else. I know that isn’t for everyone, but it’s what gets me going 😛🥰
Pro
OP, sounds like you're meeting the wrong guys, likely because you're using the wrong channels? If you are meeting guys via grindr and clubs, you shouldn't be surprised if they prefer clubbing and non-monogamy, right?
What city are you in? Maybe there are tips people can provide.
Pro
Volunteer for LGBT-related causes, LGBT community events, and gay-friendly religious/family events/orgs. These things give you access to gays who care about more than just themselves, and are more likely to want a tight knit community and family that is part of said community.
Been in an LTR since 1997. Finally married in 2017. We're now too old for kids, but we have nieces and nephews. Best piece of advice given to me about relationships - Don't look for a person to complete you. BE the person who completes you. I would add to that a relationship is practicality first, and love second. You'll have far more arguments over finances than about jealousy. Don't give up.
Pro
25M in a 2 year monogamous relationship. We both want kids someday, too!
Also NYC and I think it’s a factor of being in the city and similarly tough for straight people here too. So many options and people like dating without commitment in general I think
Dm him!
I feel the same way. Pretty pessimistic about my outlook
I'm 25 but I feel the relationship struggle. I know the wanting kids part is coming...... 🙃
Rising Star
This has never happened to me. At what point during dating are you having this conversation?
You monogamous guys should all DM each other literally right now. BOOM problem solved.😎 my work here is done
Do you want to go on a date? We’d have to talk with HR first tho lol
☄️👏🏾
Rooting for you.
FYI: that’s you shooting your shot, not asteroid lol
Are you me
DM him!
Pro
Wow. All this stuff about kids. I decided at age 10 I had no interest in being a father. I’m very up front about it—I’ve said it before, and to my current partner: if you want kids, go elsewhere. I can barely deal with being an uncle!
I have been / am in a monogamous relationship and we both want kids. Currently engaged, but I know the struggles/ frustration of navigating gay dating. I say just don’t give up on it.
I know using “the apps” are looked to be really bad in our lgbt community because of the reputation for them being for hookups, but don’t be afraid to use the to potentially meet someone. I met my fiancé on tinder and met most of my friends on Grindr (never hooked up or dated them) so there is hope.