How do you guys deal with toxic MIL, she visits us monthly and lives 10 min driving distance.
During this summer she is here and does no work at all, me and husband both working, i do WFH but all the things are up to me from breakfast to dinner , from buying vegetables from thelewala to giving garbage to kudewala.

She is soooo delicate that she couldn't keep kitchen clean, everytime there is a mess in kitchen. And his lolu sa ladka keeps seeing all things and asks me to ignore CONTINUED..

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First of all , tell your clear expectations to everyone in the home that during WFh , your room is your office and no one should enter in the room as many times you are in call or even video call and it creates disturbance . It’s fine to lock your room during working hours. Those who don’t understand this basic thing , let them crib

Secondly, tell your MIL to prepare a list of items which are not there at home and give that list to his son in evening or morning. No need to dictate every single item through out the day. Tell your husband to help you in ordering grocery and other household items .

This messing up kitchen and not maintaining basic hygiene is habit of many people. You need to keep ping pointing her for that because I can understand it looks very bad to go to kitchen and when it’s messy.

Don’t let yourself bother because of others wrong behaviour. Whatever you have mentioned is a genuine problem and you need to become little vocal to sort this out even if your MIl or husband feels bad about it. But gradually they need to and they will understand the need for privacy and hygiene at home .

likesmart

Absolutely ignoring things never work. People say that wounds heal with time, but sometimes untreated wounds turned into serious infection. So stop the wrong things at first point itself , otherwise it becomes habit of people. And it takes lot of efforts to change someone habits.

Marriage certainly means some adjustment, but it doesn’t means you loose your personality or individuality.

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She keeps coming to me all the day to tell this has got finished, that got finished blah blah, i was so frustrated that i started locking my door all the day morning till night. On that too she came and asked me i dont bother you at all why do u lock your room, keep it unlocked in a very sweetly manner.
Whenever i tried to speak about things she says 10 examples/ stories on that. I dont have the capacity to listen all this, i am so frustrated that i dont want to have kids bcz if i do she will stay permanently with us and i cant endure her.She has made my life hell. Before marriage she never use to visit her son's house now suddenly what happened that every alternate sat sun and in vacation she comes to us.

Some experienced person pls tell what is all this shit, how to tackle this situation?

"Lolu saa ladka" speaks alot about you!
Why did you got married? You had the option to be single if everything bothers you.. your husband is lolu, mil is irritating, kids u don't want. I think introspection about yourself is required here! Marriage is about adjustments. Learn to handle learn to adjust!

Okay!

Did you post this same on Reddit ? I saw it there too with similar issues. Prolly you need to get things in your own hand and work with her. Living in a family in these days is a combined effort and not one persons job. You should talk to her and more consider her like your own. Things will get better

Nipe, I haven't posted anywhere, this is my first time im bringing issues here. May be these issues are so common that every other person is facing it

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