How have you handled a time where you came off more curt than you would have liked? I am typically very composed, but have been having a difficult time health-wise and was accused on a call of not delivering an ask properly and felt the need to defend myself, in a way that I think mistakenly came off as aggressive. My counterpart became quite heated in response and it just became an unpleasant convo. We both apologized for ‘misunderstanding’ (I think we both still think we are in the right) cont

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Been there & done that! We’re all human and being honest and taking accountability for how you may have come off seems like the best way to move forward. Something along the lines of “I am sorry for the way I may have across but I do feel strongly about xyz but understand I could have approached the situation better”

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Plan in advance as best you can. However if you are having health issues, set a quick conversation with partner/manager to say you need to take time off, and just plan to write out detailed coverage report and schedule time to review before you go out.

Also it’s end of the year use-it-or-lose-it time, so I’m sure everyone has to get there days in and coordinate as best as you can.

I barely took off at all this year, just due to chaos and turnover, and then was off for two weeks earlier this month. I’m very impulsively outspoken however and basically was “as of today I’m a psycho, need a mental health reset and to use some days or I’m going to lose my shit.” Drafted a 25 page coverage deck with timelines, history, and links to every project and wished them luck. I’ve also covered for everyone else a million times so not much they could say

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It happens. We are all human and sometimes tensions run high (especially when it's something personal and/or we feel like we're being cornered or falsely accused of something). There's nothing wrong with apologizing for how you handled yourself or how you may have come across without actually saying you were wrong for being defensive. I'm sure your colleague will understand and probably feels similar.

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By making sure the rest of our interactions are pleasant!

People can easily forgive one-time occurrences, esp if you’re usually kind and thoughtful. They find reasons to give grace if they know normally it’s not like that ❤️

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Continued: but of course it’s not worth the bad blood and I still feel bad. I just don’t ever want anyone to feel like they can’t partner with me. I think she and I are actually quite similar in personality; I just don’t know what to say. I want to apologize for how I defended myself, but not for defending myself, if you know what I mean. I’m still working on some of these internal professional intricacies, maybe since I am typically so focused on how I am with clients, but I know internal presence is equally important.

I would take accountability and apologize for your tone. Everyone has the right to be spoken to with respect. This will give the person the ability to take accountability for their part. I’d leave it there and ask for a follow up meeting on how you best want to communicate moving forward. I have a lot of tension with my counterpart and the only thing that has worked is me holding them accountable for their tone. Not because I want to get them to get in trouble, but because I care about them and I want us to communicate better. So I don’t let anything slide. If this person cares to tell you what they think, and can apologize, and so can you, it could be a successful partnership. Conflict resolution ain’t easy but it is always worth it. You got this!

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