How many moms have struggled with going back to work after maternity ? I don’t think I’m struggling with going back to work per se but more so that I will have a nanny looking after my baby and I won’t be the one looking after him 24/7. Just wish I can be a stay home mom and raise my baby - and not need assistance from a complete stranger. How have others gotten over that (I don’t know what to call it) fear? Relinquishing control ?

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Pregnant now.. thinking about this constantly, I only have 12 weeks maternity leave (which is considered lucky in US). You’re feelings are completely justified! US maternity leave policy, lack of support in early education and culture surrounding working moms especially those with infants is atrocious... Pre pendemic I was gonna quit my job to stay with baby at least for a year and possibly freelance untill baby is at least 3. Now with WFH I’m considering giving it a try and doing both (🤷🏻‍♀️we shall see, my husband is 100% board with whatever decision I make which is lucky) luckily my work isn’t to demanding so maybe it can work. Your feelings are so so justified! I moved here from Eastern Europe and even tho my country’s in economic shi**ole one thing they don’t drop a ball on is moms and children and attitudes towards parents at work. Not even about the financial aspect of maternity leave, but just the fact that you can return to your job after 1-3 years no questions ask, for the most part no one ever judges the choice of staying with baby early on, also high quality kinder gardens are free for every child, these things are so important.. I’m struggling with this as well, I love my job I would hate to lose it.

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Congrats on your pregnancy. If you need any advice or have any questions, feel free to reach out. I know it’s super overwhelming and so much information out there. Happy to help however I can

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I’m sure for everyone it was different, but I felt the same way as you with my first. First day was ROUGH. First week was rough. And then slowly it started to become the routine and a bit easier. Our nanny was great at sending me lots of pictures and updates throughout the day. I was gone 11 hours with the commute from CT to NY so it was a long day. Would also try to FaceTime while I had a pumping break to say hi. My nanny made a beautiful bond with my daughter which also helped ease that anxiety. I’m sure others got to work and were like, “oh this is a nice balance!” For me, it was more of knowing I needed to do it to take care of my family and you get used to that feeling of you do whatever you have to do as a mom. Either way, you WILL be ok and so will your baby. Congrats on your beautiful baby!

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Thank you so much !

I struggled with this too. Twice. We found a nanny that came recommended from a family she was with for years. The references are great to get bc when you talk to the other moms and hear how much they loved them and see them as family, you feel A LOT better. I have found that treating them like an extension of your family helps the kids and the nanny feel like that too. We still keep in touch with our first nanny and the kids call her gramma. We also had cameras (nest) that replaced baby monitor so we can see nap times and stuff. That helped a great deal with peace of mind. And I developed a schedule for the nanny of things I wish I could do with the kids everyday. Beyond feedings and naps, play time, reading, music/dancing just playfully, etc

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Oh and I made a lot of baby picture books of me and my husband bc I was afraid the baby would forget us. There were some times that the baby cried if we took her from the nanny. But instead of feeling sad, I reframed it to “oh that’s how loving this nanny is that my baby loves her like family”

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