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This manager would also forward me email chains from someone above them asking this specific manager to do something and instead this said manager forwards that to me and asks me to look into it with no guidance whatsoever. I don’t mind when someone asks me for help but I would like to have a little understanding on what im asked to do. And refer to first comment, when I do push back, they just defer me to someone else
Involve your counselor (I hope you feel safe with your counselor) and explain your concerns. If that’s ineffective, reach out directly to your engagement partner - it is their job to make teaming work. The way you described the issues is professional and don’t really need further crafting. It sounds like you don’t have an open communication channel with this manager so you’ll need to go around her to make yourself heard. Sorry you’re dealing with this, but I applaud you for taking the first step and structuring your thoughts
Sorry to hear about your situation OP. I went through a nightmare manager not too long ago as well. I think the RL/counselor is the best to go to for schedule changes if you think changing teams will be best for you (and is what I’ve personally done). They will definitely try to help you with this if you express your concerns and if they are afraid of you may quit because of this (especially considering the current staffing shortages). Right now is the best time of the year to switch since scheduling is still in process. This is what I’ve done and it has worked well for me. And if you do have a particular team you’re interested in being on instead, I would let them know that as well.
I’m not getting enough guidance from this manager, everytime I have a question and I ask them for help, instead of looking into my issue, they call a partner to join the call and make me ask my questions. Sometimes I don’t know what I don’t know. So I don’t even know how to phrase these questions.
I meant in general, not specific to Seniors.
But there will be things that you as a Senior won't know or haven't been exposed to and you will have/should have questions. Something being challenging doesn't make you (or them) bad Seniors. Not asking questions, leaving things incomplete, etc. that's a different story.
Even the best Senior Managers and Partners I work with don't know everything and have areas that they haven't been exposed to. What makes them great at their job is the ability to ask the right questions, research, and figure it out.
This manager also uses languages in emails that makes me feel at fault all the time. Everytime I work with them, I feel lost or blamed. I would like to say I’m a high performer with a below average confidence. This manager would respond to client emails with me cc saying things like “I don’t know about this, SA worked on it.” Even though this client was never my core client. All I did wrong was asked if they needed help.
Leverage your peer network as well.
I feel guilty bc I’ve had issues with her for a while now but I’m too much of a coward to actually do anything about it or I just suck it up. Now I see new staffs having the same issue, I feel at fault because I could’ve said something about it.
Last point, this manager doesn’t give review comments. I would like to know what I did wrong. Also frees some of her time up to do actual manager stuff than correct my mistakes.
It doesn't sound like your manager is good at what they do... and he/she sounds like some one who throws people under the bus, even for things they didn't do... always shifts blame and never takes responsibility... and loves to "shame" people.
I would suggest probably working on your confidence so that you can push back... without feeling that way. He/she senses your lack of it thus the treatment.
When I have been in situations where a senior manager/Director mistakes my being soft-spoken as a weakness, I confront them in a way they did not expect "from me"... I call everything as it is and what it insinuated, how I perceived it and felt, ask them what their intention was, and if it could have been handled differently? In private and respectfully.
It always never happens again and we all still work together... mutually respecting one another.
Pro
What firm are you? Really Hope it's not us PwC
Just a point - whenever a manager blames someone else or says “I don’t know, SA” worked on it” - almost no one is blaming SA. In fact, it really makes the manager look terrible in deflecting any responsibility or ownership of the project.
Hoping you realize that manager throwing you under the bus probably isn’t as bad as you’re imagining it in your head. 🙂