Related Posts
Bowl Leader
What are your favorite recipes with ground beef?
Visual Storyteller
Bowl Leader
Santorini special tonight.
Pro
Bowl Leader
More Posts
Sundial Growers 🏄🏻♂️🏄🏻♂️🏄🏻♂️
UBS or Barclays ?
Additional Posts in Confession
Conversation Starter
I don’t trust cheese that doesn’t melt
Conversation Starter
Is this whisper?
Pro
Conversation Starter
The new company I’m at now sent me an email from an email address that was HR@companyName.careers saying I was accepted for the position. They gave me paperwork to fill out and sign to accept the position
I fill out the paperwork and send it back to them and it goes through… then a few days later I go back to the email to say something else and I get this…?
Then today I got a check from the company In the mail to setup my home office, and it’s signed by someone I’ve never met before or heard of…?
What…..
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
New guilty pleasure: Indian Matchmaking on Netflix
Enthusiast
Rising Star
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Self help books can help a small percentage of the population even though they are marketed as ‘universal’ advice. I have been in therapy for a few years and take self-improvement really seriously, but cannot relate to the self help books at all.
I think it depends on the book. There are certainly self help books that are based on pseudoscience and written by “life coaches” who claim to be experts but are really looking for cash grabs from vulnerable people looking for advice.
There are also “self help” books which are written by established professionals and researchers that I believe break down ideas in a digestible way, making it possible to reach a wider audience, and having access to all that information as a resource is hugely beneficial for people.
Either way, I would never vilify anyone reading self help books. More often than not, people who read them are looking to improve their lives and have an attitude of change. Many people are not blessed with amazing parents, coaches, teachers, mentors, or friends, and can’t always access therapy. I also think therapy should be used in conjunction with other methods (a therapist should not be your only influence - they are still a flawed human at the end of the day).
I think there’s a lot of wisdom to be gained by books, granted you do have to read them with a lens of critical thinking and form your own opinion about the material. Sometimes reading them helps you solidify your own views, because you come across ideas that question your own beliefs and you either change them or realize you still value your original belief. At least people are trying to get better by spending their time reading instead of watching netflix and repeating the same habits, never questioning what they’re doing or seeking help.
Yeah, a lot of commenters are vilifying people who do (saying it’s a red flag, narcissistic, etc), so I was leaving my thoughts
Enthusiast
I would say it’s a red flag if they have never bothered to read one and are openly very against them. Shows they are close minded.
Define self help? Is it’s those motivational Tony Robbins type books, if so I’m not into those either and I don’t think it’s a red flag. I don’t need to read about motivation etc to get motivated. I have never read or even thought to need to read books in that section and I have a nice balanced and successful life.
Better question to ask is what is that person reading. There are more more interesting books and topics that are not “self help” and could be beneficial, inspirational and helpful to someone.
Point is, every genre of book can be self help. Help from books can be found beyond the self help sections.
I enjoy history, biographies, creative fiction and esoteric philosophy. It has helped me in many ways. If I need help, I seek a professional (which I did) or attend a program live.
I’m not knocking on any self help books, because I did read a few, but it wasn’t my cup of tea for self improvement.
So my point I don’t think it’s a red flag. Don’t be too critical, everyone is different.
No people now in days aren’t really about self improvement. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Plus because they’ve don’t believe in something doesnt necessarily mean they don’t try to improve themselves
These books vary widely in quality. I think most brush over the causes of long term bad habits and many authors don't have the proper qualifications. That said I think many therapists aren't much better.
Enthusiast
I don’t think it’s a red flag, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I personally like self help books. Not that I disagree with a lot of a comments here. They can be gimmicky and say things that are just common sense, but I feel like I generally gain some new insights from the ones I’ve read.
I think it’s a red flag if they don’t believe in putting in any effort to improve themselves/their lives on a regular basis.
That is crazy here! Person is reading-that is already good! Atomic Habits is a decent book by the way. Whatta hypocrisy! What, everyone is regular to the gym here, or perfectly skinny and well organized? With a classic book in their hand?
If person is smart enough-they can pick up good ideas even from self improvement book.
I think folks here are pointing out that someone who doesn’t read those type of books are not red flags.
I haven’t read atomic habits but I’m sure it’s a reinforcement of thinks I already do (just read the summary via Google).
A lot of those self help experts are not really “experts,” they are marketing machines and the same messaging gets repacked into a new book every year. Majority of the content are things folks already know, they just need motivation to “do it.”
Executing and developing a system that works for you is what matters. For reading, I prefer history, bio, esoteric philosophy, poetry etc. I learn alot more from them than self help books.
To also answer your question, yes I’m a regular at the gym (former athlete and bodybuilder). You want to talk about executing habits, you will learn a lot more competing at an elite level at sports or competing in a bodybuilding show.