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Got a random email from a supposed Amazon recruiter for a SDE position (which is not at all a fit). The email is amazon.com domain and there are no red flags in the body but it doesn't feel like an Amazon recruiter due to the tacky signature, etc. Has anyone seen this kind of cold-calling from FAANG recruiter?
Anybody in BCG PIPE?
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I’d have a hard time with supporting someone through school for them to stop working immediately after and stay at home. I’m a woman and I get the stay at home appeal, but in a family I’m also a member of a team.
A6 a even with a degree not having work experience, going to work after 5 years post education will be really hard to break into. There will be no “skills” learned. I know raising a child is hard work and tons a value but the workforce doesn’t give you credit for that. May be better of returning to school to finish a year or two before the intended career start. Why spend it now?
There are so many factors that go into a family’s decision to have one parent stay home vs working. First, in a partnership something like this isn’t just one party’s decision - you both have to objectively evaluate what would be best for your family. Some things I would think about:
- What’s the differential between her potential salary and the cost of childcare? Ie how much $$ are you sacrificing or benefitting from this decision?
- How close is free childcare? Your parents or her parents primarily. The cost of childcare can be reduced and grandparents get valuable time with their grandkids at the same time.
- Is she likely to miss the intellectual challenge of working? Being a stay at home mom is NOT a cakewalk. The stressors change but don’t go away.
- If you do decide to take this route, you’ll need really good communication skills to discuss both of your expectations and any issues that come up along the way. Is she also responsible for all cleaning, negating the need for help in this area? What are your expectations for ‘having dinner on the table’? What happens if you start resenting her freedom and she starts resenting the fact that that you get to leave the house without kids?
- Finally, staying at home can be great for kids. It sounds like you don’t already have them, though. How close in age your kids are can have an impact of the efficacy of this decision. If you’re going to plan for this, think about elements like this as well. Good luck!
wow, you are quite established in life. I can't even figure out dinner with my wife
If she wants to stay - I say let her stay.
Wife is a Harvard mba and only works part time. I struggle with this too
sm1 - I posted before reading your response about nieces, though i stand by my comment.
My wife and I are both consultants in NYC. Cost of childcare is insanely expensive but we lose more income if she doesn’t work. Both our families are not in the city so we have no alternative until my daughter is of age for Free Pre-K alternatives. By that time I’ll be better positioned in my career by having paid off debts and increased income combined.
I think you have to have a serious ambition and monetary discussion. A stay at home mom for a year, six months, three years, forever? If so, will she be happy? That’s very important because you don’t want it to be a point of contention for either of you (I.e her giving up a career and or your opinion that you must overwork to provide).
to play devil's advocate - I'm happily married, but i know others who paid for their SO's education only to have them leave some time after.
B&C1, he keeps saying he will, but she has yet to receive a check, even though he is definitely living the doctor lifestyle. At first he resisted, and couldn’t understand why she kindly asked to be paid back. It shocked the whole family because we thought this guy was a good guy. I know sometimes things don’t work out, but man, the least you can do is pay her back! It’s not like he’s struggling.
Your wife should be supportive. What’s the point of going to school if you’re not going to work?
Nothing wrong with learning just to learn by this is America and we actually have to pay for an education. No. I am NOT a fan of blowing money
If staying at home stop the tuition madness then
My mom was stay at home from about kindergarten on, worked pretty great for me
also. if your spouse is in school full-time, there are still logistics to figure out. things like kid-care (during class and for homework), meals. if you work alot, this could cause some issues.
Idk why it posted that twice
I wonder why this is up to you. What if she decided that she would like you to stay at home and she would like to go work instead?
Communication
I’d recommend you get another wife 🤷♀️, and she can then stay at home all she wants and live her life, oh wait can she