Sometimes I feel like I have to work twice as hard just to be seen as competent. If I forget a small detail or miss a deadline, I worry people will chalk it up to my ADHD rather than just a normal mistake. Last month, I stayed late almost every night to make sure I didn’t drop the ball on a big project—only to watch a neurotypical coworker make similar mistakes without anyone batting an eye. Does anyone else feel this pressure to constantly prove themselves? How do you manage the stress of overcompensating without burning out?

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Same following for guidance

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This happens to people despite NOT having ADHD. You don’t need to be neurodivergent to be treated differently. There are favorites among mere mortals who can do no wrong, always get the benefit of the doubt even if deadlines and mistakes are missed AND get the raise and promotion.

My point is that a lot of people relate to feeling the need to over compensate. Bias and nepotism make being human a liability somewhere in the workplace for many of us. To err is human, to favor is human, and to be different is also human.

Don’t let it phase you, focus on the areas where you shine. We all have them. It becomes freeing to honestly see what’s happening, not be afraid to stand out, embrace where you are different because it’s also a part of your super powers, talents and unique perspective. We focus too often on what we don’t have instead of what we do—it’s wasted energy and bleeds into how we carry ourselves that others pick up on subconsciously.

Over compensating is about convincing others that you’re good enough. Be you, take ownership of your work, embrace the passion to be the best you can be and it will calm your nerves. You are enough! Invite vs convince others to see this for themselves. It’s a totally different mindset. Not always easy, but you get better at it the more you let go of trying to convince. And the independence on the other side feels pretty amazing, and continues to reinforce you just being you.

helpful

I do. I operate much slower than my peers. It takes me longer to process and fully grasp new concepts, I’m also super anal when it comes to writing the perfect email (to a fault). At times, I’ll spend over an hour rereading it because I don’t retain the info due to the chaos around me.

Rest assured, I wholeheartedly believe 99.9% of folks would agree with your first sentence, regardless of having ADHD.

And although I don’t have a cure, just know you’re not alone. Recognition is everything and to scream out for attention for it (guilty) is never fun.

Be kind to yourself and remember - you got this gig because you demonstrated competency.

Also - as a result, I work myself into wee hours of the night, every night… resulting in my weekends being hijacked by my lack of energy. Last night I finished work at 10 and by the time I got around to decompressing and cooking dinner, it was 1am.

I fear my logging overtime week over week, I will be viewed as a weak link and retaliated against 😬

Yep

Huh? Did you disclose and was judged for your mistake?

I used to feel that way but I realized I probably pay way more attention to detail because I am paranoid about it and I actually make less mistakes than others. I finally stopped stressing about it and realized I am human and I am allowed to make mistakes.

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