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Before I got diagnosed I hoped that I was depressed so I could blame something for the way that I am, but once I got the proper diagnosis, it obviously didn’t end there and I had doubts about my identity again. You may have depression but you are not your depression. The meds are just meds at the end of the day. They may be responsible for helping you have an easier time but they don’t define you. No one feels kind and happy all the time. You on and off meds are the same you, just different facets of the same person. It might be easier to reconcile the fact that personality traits at the end of the day are still just traits, positive or negative, they don’t make up who you are as a person, you’re more than that.
I went through that for a while. And then my best friend explained it to me this way: Your/Our depression is just a little flub at our birth. We didn't get enough seratonin, or whatnot, and so we just need a little help.
Am I any different of a person with my glasses on? Clark Kent may think so, but I'd say I'm pretty much the same, anxious ball of fire. After being on meds for almost 10 years now, I can confirm to you — and myself — that I will always be an anxious, jumpy and frantic ball of mess. The meds just help it not be as extreme or dangerous to myself or society.
Nothing has changed about me. Well that's a lie. I'm much more hopeful, confident and excited for the future. I can be me without a demon on my shoulder every day.
absolutely. I'm in the processing of leaving my current place because it's just not working and won't work with my illness.
I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood, have a psychiatrist for a parent, and am fairly well educated on mental health issues. Nonetheless it has taken me til my 30s to truly accept that I have a medical condition that requires me to take medication consistently. I’ve started thinking of it like a heart condition — if I had a heart condition, I wouldn’t just skip my meds. Treatment is healthy, and I feel better, happier, kinder, more enthusiastic when I’m on my meds. BUT I can’t shake the feeling that the “real me” is a garbage person (angry, irritable, selfish, obsessive) and the person I am on meds — the person I want to be — is somehow artificial because the meds are responsible. Curious if anyone else feels this way.
Yes I feel the same way. I feel like I shouldn’t take the meds because I need to treat the underlying cause, not just mellow it all out with meds.
You’re just improved. Enjoy your health insurance when it kicks in and stress out about something else.
just mean think of meds as an “improved” you.
you are the same "you," just with some imbalances balanced. people feel better (read: not like they normally do) when they take their heart medication. just because you don't feel like you normally do, it doesn't mean it's not you. ♥️