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How can I make friends in Chicago?
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How did you guys meet your SO?
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Hello! Question for anyone that works at Google if I have hit my 3 applications per 90 days can I still apply to an additional role through a referral link? Or will I have to wait until the 90 days is up? Actually asking for a friend that doesn’t have this app 😊 thanks in advance for any insight.
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Hi AMs, Cramer (experiential marketing agency) is hiring for Account Directors and Account Managers. In office 3 days a week. Links below to the job openings!
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Hubby & I both USMC vets, NOT married in service, met and married after we were both out.
However, our service impacted us both in big ways. From PTSD to both being hard-headed as hell, it's never been what I would classify as easy. Lots of intentionality, tons of compromise, very hard conversations, counseling (individual and couples). We've walked through some very hard stuff and are still here. 17 years last November. Best of luck.
I wish I did. We have never ever been on the same page there. I process early, and he processes later. So we have been at different places (mentally) in the same situation, if that makes any sense. In our relationship, I'm the 'fixer', and he's the 'i just need you to listen' type. I'm the logical one, he is the emotional one. We had to learn to abandon those gender syereotypes and be careful with what advice we listen to. We finally found someone we both liked, but there were still issues. You can hold back info there, too... that and she retired. Go to counseling by yourself if you both will not go. If you're both open, work to find someone you both agree on. Go do your own work separately until you find someone you agree on.
I think our biggest win/anchor/ whatever you want to call it... is our shared faith (Jesus). And there's tons of accountability measures that neither of us even think about. He knows how to access all my accounts, emails, phone, etc., so there's not even the thought that either of us are keeping things separate. We've just never even not considered it.
I realize I sounded a little gloomy. We're both deeply flawed, profoundly broken people. Both of us experienced trauma before and in service, though very different. I've been working on mine more recently, and I've not been a joy to be around through this. But I have zero doubt that my hubby is for me, and that always brings me back to the reality that we're better together. He's my best friend, and life would be a darker place without him. Sometimes, i have to remind myself of that when I want to kill him.
Last thing... we watched Stutz on Netflix the other night. Go watch that, but bring a pad of paper and pen. Take notes. Great tips to work on yourself there.
P1, sorry to hear that, same here. The last number I saw was about 70% divorce rate in the military but I think it’s more like the civilian world 50-50.
Rising Star
Doesn’t mean it wasn’t the best choice available to you at the time.
Now you’re out, be deliberate in prioritizing them. The stakes aren’t the same.
No private enterprise owner’s family’s wealth is worth your family’s unhappiness, ever.
Understand each minute and hour spent with one is at the expense of the other 🤷
The marriage is 17yrs old and is struggling to stay alive. The amount of time spent apart and having 2 kids that don't really know one of the parents because they were gone for 85% of the time over the last 3yrs poisoned the marriage, how we operate as a team and our ability to communicate. We both agree we want to try and make things better and I guess that is good enough for now.
That's an important starting point, both of you want to make things better. That's what a therapist I talked to recently said. I didn't like her for other reasons, but that was one positive thing I was able to take away.
I don't think marriages are going to be rock solid when you're in the military really...but then again, it's about how you two communicate and what you're willing to do for one another. This is not an easy life and we've all been through a lot of things - not many partners will understand that, and many won't want to
Thank you. I don't expect it to be rock solid, but it really needs to improve, or I fear it won't survive. I agree wholeheartedly -- it's going to take a lot of compromise, care, and communication to make it through this rough patch. I hope that we're able to get through this and grow stronger. I really want that for us.
I got out just in time. Been fine since leaving the military.
Rising Star
I’m not the one to ask; it killed mine 🤷
Yep. Especially true for dual military like we were. Don’t even get me started on the absolute farce that is the MACP, especially for officers in different branches.
Trust is a biggie. My ex cheated when I deployed
BA1, that's not a bad idea. You're signing up for SO MUCH, and usually the relationships/marriages are sped up because of deployment. I'm sure this also causes issues for a lot of couples. I know it sure has for us!
I was not married while I served, but I can tell you what strengthened my relationship with my wife is finding something bigger than both of us to believe in. Our choice was Jesus Christ. He is at the beginning of every choice we make and we serve our community regularly.
Mine is dying 15 years after leaving the service........ I'm a terrible resource as well.
I do hope you fair better for sure.
Mine is intertwined w substance abuse/mental health issues and infidelity.
We made it work as long as we were willing to work on our part and just recently she stopped doing her bit which started affecting the kids....THAT I could not let go. It is what it is.
A lot depends on trust and a solid relationship. We were married for 10 years on active duty with 5 deployments totaling 6 years. Still going strong after 31 years and 3 kids. You have to communicate. Date night is crucial to keep the spark alive. Also we are both Christians so keeping God in your relationship is a must.
It affected it terribly. Very few people can manage a relationship in this era while bouncing overseas for a year at a time periodically.
Now that I’m out in the civilian world, I’m forced to pay 2.5 times the amount of my mortgage for child support, and I miss my kids constantly. My only piece of advice for young people contemplating joining the military is to stay single for the duration. Any other decision is likely throwing away your future and completely screwing up your life.
Everyone goes into marriage thinking it'll be easy.
Nothing is as difficult on the planet. Nothing. I've been married for 35 yrs to my first wife and it has has a multitude of hellish occasions. But, if you continually multiple times a day tell him or her an I LOVE YOU. Don't go to bed mad at each other. And, fight through like they are your best friend. You can make it. Til the next Heloise moment. You got married for a reason and you must always be reminding yourself of those reasons. They will help you through almost any hellish moment. Still after 35 yrs my wife thinks of me sometimes as that young man who could fuck up wet dream sometimes, but then I or we have to remind each other of what we mean to each other. A sickening amount of I LOVE YOU'S and holding hands while you both go to sleep. Its a daily battle sometimes but, you fought for things worth less than your man or woman.