Three female former remote colleagues invited my husband on a trip (no spouses). Husband agrees it's not appropriate but I think he’d consider going if said I was fine with it. All are in their 30s with spouses and same aged young kids. Am I selfishly depriving him of a trip with friends? What is “normal?” My perception of normal/acceptable in these types of situations is skewed after a rough prior relationship many years ago.

Continued, details in a comment below.

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I’m not crazy. You’re not crazy. This is odd.

At least one of them there wants to sleep with your husband. Unless he is feminine and fun to be around, I can’t imagine wanting 1 guy and 3 girls. I would at least try to invite another guy so he is not left out.

One of them has some untoward ideas.

likesmarthelpful

Agreed with BC, I’m a guy and have a few close girl friends, but they are extremely respectful of including my wife or even optics of things that would make her consider feeling insecure … weird position they put your husband in with the invite, good call by him.

likeuplifting

My gut is churning just reading this. Let it speak for you and validate this isn’t normal.

Also I go on a bit of girls trips and my husband occasionally has a guys trip, so we respect and support each other’s time and space to enjoy with friends. Looking at this situation though, this is sus af

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I’d encourage it. You’ll earn brownie points in the relationship and build trust.

He’s not going with 1 person, it’s a group. Also he’s going with ex colleagues that will potentially be useful in his career.

He also put the ball in your court and assumed you would say no. Don’t let your fears prevent fairly benign activity.

The only entirely innocent scenario would be if you two are a gay couple and they are your husband’s hags/fun gal pals. But I think you two are a hetero couple, yes? So odd for the women to even propose this!

You are correct, we are a hetero couple. Which definitely makes the proposition weird to me!

Depends on the vibe. I have a friend group that is five women and one guy, who has a girlfriend. We hang out without the girlfriend all the time and there’s zero issue. But i think its just bc we have a certain vibe to the group that makes it very obvious that all these women arent a threat to the relationship.

If they are attractive it's an orgy. If they aren't it's platonic. It's that simple

That’s one odd trip.

This is dumb/toxic gender essentialism.

Are you saying it is toxic gender essentialism because we are acknowledging the very real, natural, common, typical dynamics between men and women?

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