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Good lord, he’s human. He settled down. Thank him for deescalating and move along.
I do agree you should acknowledge the deescalation. It reinforces the positive behavior while also, gently, points out his original behavior was bad. When I joined my practice yelling at staff and tears was common. As a leader I was able to role model appropriate ways to respond, remind the offending leaders to remember we are all working on same goal, that yelling at work is not professional or effective (only leads people to hide things that then can escalate to big problems), but I also went out of my way to recognize and praise the good behavior. It dramatically changed the situation and created a better climate. So yes, speak up but also yes, recognize the good stuff.
As for the HR question. If this is a first offense, no. If recurring then I would report it at leastto another leader you trust or to HR.
Talk to him directly and professionally. Giving ‘in the moment’ feedback is part of your role and you must do so constructively. I don’t see any downside to taking this approach - best case, he self corrects and starts respecting you as a colleague; worst case - nothing changes but at least you gave him a fair chance to address your feedback before escalating further. That’s what I’d expect from a self aware and mature colleague.
You got this OP 👊
All the best.
You’re not a child but crying to HR is what a child would do
Rising Star
A million ways for an SM to screw you in ways that wouldn't even look bad on him. During Covid, decisions on who to lay off could come down to a single dissenting voice. You should do what you think is right, but be ready to own the results and consequences whether they were expected/intended or not.
1. You shouldn’t be yelled at. So talk to him or her and communicate that’s not the way you want to be spoken to. Draw your boundaries and communicate it as an adult. We’re all human, they likely knew they made a mistake.
2. You shouldn’t go over budget. Let’s not gloss over the mistake you make either. Talk to your boss about what occurred, why it occurred, and how to avoid it happening again.
3. If the yelling continues, then report. If you report without trying to resolve first, you’ll just look like you’re unable to work out stressful situations. News flash, the higher up you go, the more childish behaviors you’ll encounter….consulting is a relationship business and the higher you go, the more your ability to work with people under stressful situations will determine your failure or success. And stressful situations can bring out the worst in people.
Yes. The phrasing I used as an example I used when I was a Senior to a Senior Manager, then again as a Manager to a Partner. First time the SM tries to get me fired (Accenture - unsuccessfully), second time the Partner and I developed a really great working relationship.
But you’re right, there may be consequences that you would need to cover for through involving your counselors and supporting partners as necessary….but the first step should be standing up to the person you’re working with.
Well, if he writes you a bad review, then it’s too late to report the incident. So, now or never.
You went over the budget so it's technically your fault 🤣🤣 if anything HR will ding you instead.
If this is your first time getting yelled at then you are up for an awakening. Good call on leaving and rejoining but this could also have aggravated the situation.
Just nod, say yes and move on and hope you don't work with the Sr Mngr again. I've been yelled by a Sr Mngr before too but now he and I are like best buds.
^ I've gotten yelled at too, multiple times. I've survived most and even managed to get a good enough review from one. The bit about starting to hide things and not escalate out of fear is true. Be honest about that in further conversation with this manager if that is how you feel. Work on meeting budget, or have an honest conversation with your manager about ways to meet budget if you don't see a way to right now. This being said, I also remember being given the advice that the closer you are to your leadership, the more likely you'll get to actually see their genuine emotions. I have also noticed that the same will be true of your clients. Today, I much more appreciate the managers who show genuine emotion so that I know something is wrong, rather than report me behind my back, smile to my face, and surprise me with drama later. The fact that you deescalated by leaving is important and you should explicitly tell your manager that this is how you deal with conflict, so that there's no drama from that later. The fact that the manager also came back and apologized is huge. I've never had that and feel that this shows maturity. This manager could end up being a very good friend if you'll let him. I do suggest that you see these things for the good they are and recognize that people have emotions. For you to forgive, talk things out, document privately (to protect yourself), and move on without reporting will do wonders for your relationship with the manager, but if it repeats, you need to be honest with him about what it does to your ability to perform which may make it easier for him to understand if you do feel pushed to report one day. The decision you take will generally define how people perceive you as a professional in the future, so whatever you end up doing, I hope you choose based on what consequences help you feel more comfortable.
Report it
Rising Star
Bad strategy. They will almost side with the SM unless he did something illegal / sexual etc.
I’d suggest growing up. You did something wrong, your manager called you out. If this is systemic that’s different. But otherwise take the shouting abs don’t go over budget again.
Wrong take AP. You can correct mistakes without belittling people. Leaders who coach through yelling and intimidation have some growing up to do.
If you are a professional, then why did you go over budget? Why did you not communicate this to your SM and hanging up is never professional
Good. Now get back to work
Chief
What would you expect HR to do? If it didn’t cross legal boundaries it usually isn’t within their purview to address.
I’m fairly certain the act of reporting itself is protected and can result in retaliation protection. Not HR but I was in middle and upper management with large teams for years in industry and this was always how I understood it 🤷♂️
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If you asked 10 random people, would they call the interaction ‘yelling?’ I hate to call it into question, but it’s where we are now - anything slightly uncomfortable has turned to ‘literal violence’
Don't negotiate with terrorists
I wouldn’t report it. Would just stop working with him. You only get one chance while working with me, especially in how you treat me. Less sensitive to work related errors. But when it comes to communication, you only get one chance
I like your move. That was professional.
You can be more professional by setting up one on one time to discuss it and give him the upward feedback that you thought the tone was inappropriate while acknowledging anything that you could have done better
See where that goes and then decide whether to report or not
Where the hell do these people work who think that “going over budget” is grounds for being yelled at.
I assume OP is lower level. That makes it the Senior Manager’s fault anyways. They own the team and own the success and failure.
I hope I never have to work with that majority of you wankers.
Half of the respondents are the problem. I’m not sure why it’s ever ok to yell at someone, especially at work. I’ve gone over budget and offered to not travel to make up for it, which was accepted. It’s just not that serious. Get a life and a therapist.
I don’t understand what you’d try to accomplish by going to HR..?
Chief
Did he hit you
Are you implying abuse is only physical? Oh boy…
Isn’t it the SMs job to monitor the budgets?
No need to say anything - join a better firm for more $$$ while the job market is hot <3