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Chief
Any Saudi folks here? Alf Mabrook!
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Have you ever taken a pay cut? Do you regret it?
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What skills lead to success in M&A?
Those bzyszn feels
Pro
PSA: Stop making a pissing contest out of working late.
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Chief
We are only as good as how we act under pressure. You learn to not be stressed, it's not that we aren't showing stress.
Nah, Most of y'all that are "not stressed" are just sociopaths.
No one says you need to hide your stress. We all have stress and have to deal with it. Please don't let it get to the point where it is harmful to you. Yes, we have crazy deadlines this time of year, but you're human and we have all been there. Please take care of yourself.
I think the emphasis is don't add additional stress to your team. It sounds like you are taking your stress out on your team. Everyone on my team shows we are stressed at times, but it is (almost) never at each other. There is a difference between telling a coworker "mind if I vent and get something off my chest" and just being crabby at them.
I’ve given up on not hiding it. I do my job well, but I’m not getting anything out of acting like I’m not miserable. I do prefer to have my mental breakdowns in my car or at home though.
This is going to sound kinda harsh and I don't mean it that way, but emotional composure is a job requirement for this job. If I think about what makes someone "stellar" at any rank, I have to admit emotional presentation is a big part of that. Like, taking the extreme case of brand new staff - I don't expect them to know the material at all. Technical excellence therefore isn't the requirement. Rather, what distinguishes a great staff is being able to have a positive attitude even during rough working conditions. (Every time anyone has talked about "firm culture", "it's all about the people", etc, I think they are getting at this point.)
The actual nature of the work is what it is: what determines if it's tolerable or not is much in how well the team gets along through it, and yes, emotional composure during stress is a big part of that. It's a lot more enjoyable for everyone to spend 60+ hours per week in close proximity if they can joke and laugh about things.
This is not something you should try to "fake" in a long term sense...If you find it too burdensome, you should evaluate if this is where you want to be long term. (There is no shame in deciding it is not - objectively, most people don't stay long term in public accounting and that's not a judgement on them.)
It's okay to show you are stressed and seek help.
Hiding it, is gonna make it worse and impact your health.
Partners or company don't care about your health. They won't come forward when it has impacted you.
From my perspective, this is more of a skill. The best client-facing accountants are able to project a level of effortlessness outwards towards the client. This projects a level of confidence in your own ability and your team. Is that the reality? Who knows on a given day, but our clients trust us to do what we were engaged to do. In their mind, they didn’t hire one person but an entire firm.
I think that skill can be projected internally and be perceived as out of touch of the day to day work.
You should be like a duck in public: cool, calm, and collected on the surface, but kicking like hell.
Control of stress and emotional responses in general is a skill some are better at naturally and others have to work harder to achieve.
Mastering the skill is part of the job req as you grow. Think tone at the top and lead by example. Do you think your team would be better prepared to deliver work product being stressed and nervous or managing their emotion and having control of their feelings?
Note, this doesn’t mean burying your feelings. That’s unhealthy and a recipe for disaster long term. Rather learn to sit with the feeling while staying level-headed is the goal.
Where do you get the impression that you can’t show you are stressed?
Informal feedback from multiple teams “try not to show you are stressed so the rest of the team doesn’t get stressed”
Do you think your clients will have confidence if you’re in a meeting with them and acting all stressed? What message does that send to them? Or the team that you’re leading?
It’s one thing to act with a sense of urgency or purpose. It’s another to act like a basket case.
I did say that I make sure not to show stress in client meetings but that’s a specific subset of time, not 10+ hours a day
Well it's that time of year so it's to be expected. I would suggest letting off steam by ACTUALLY GETTING UP FROM DESK and TAKING YOUR LUNCH BREAK (boxing in gym)*that's what I did so I don't become super passive aggressive.**. And it doesn't help your teammates nor your staff .. The same energy you give off is the same energy you will receive
It’s like if ur in a life and death situation and everyone needs to focus
And all of a sudden someone starts freaking out and then panic breaks out among the group
A calm group works better than a group that’s huffing and puffing all day
Sorry but I don’t want to hear about how stressed you are when I got things to do
Would be my guess if I had to guess
It's a balance. I think it's healthy to be honest with your team (I hate when partners pretty much gaslight us that nothing is a big deal), but do it in a positive way. If I worked for/with someone who projected negative stress all day, I'd lose my mind. I can't deal with energy vampires. But you can learn to acknowledge the stress/deadlines and talk about it in a positive way - "hey team, I know we have a lot on our plates, but we'll do our best and get this done - lets order out lunch today".