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The new company I’m at now sent me an email from an email address that was HR@companyName.careers saying I was accepted for the position. They gave me paperwork to fill out and sign to accept the position
I fill out the paperwork and send it back to them and it goes through… then a few days later I go back to the email to say something else and I get this…?
Then today I got a check from the company In the mail to setup my home office, and it’s signed by someone I’ve never met before or heard of…?
What…..
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just know that no one in the gym is watching you or cares what you are doing. Unless you drop something or scream in pain, no one is paying attention
I actually totally disagree with S1 here — everyone is watching everyone else, all the time. On public transit, how many people do you look at and make instinctive judgements about? In the gym, same thing. I notice the gym bros, the women doing cardio, the overweight folks clearly just starting. And I judge them all, in my head, all the time: the gym bros seem shallow and slightly intimidating to me, The newbies really need a form check, etc. But the key point here is that it DOES NOT MATTER. No one is coming up to me and telling me that I grunt like a rhino on the last rep. No one is going to say “wow you look great”. The only person whose opinion matters in there is my own. So even though everyone is looking, judging, observing, I just do my thing and observe right back.
Getting a trainer for a month to start off at least is probably a great idea for OP, to help feel like you belong a bit more.
I was really intimidated & self conscious about myself when I first started hitting the gym.
But then I learned that unless you're a really attractive woman, no one really cares about you or what you look like at the gym, lol.
Seriously, no one cares. No one is comparing or watching you. Get some good headphones, put on a playlist you like and hit the weights, bro.
Pro
Force yourself to eat a lot more than you currently do (preferably high protein, low fat) and find a gym buddy to create some healthy competition. You want to work out regularly with a friend who is stronger but wants to help you, so that you can stay motivated.
Start small (gym 1x a week) before upping the frequency. As you work out, try to channel those negative feelings of weakness or inadequacy into controlled anger for your lifts. Play loud music if that helps. Keep at that for just a month or two and you’ll be stronger in short time.
Pro
We all start somewhere. I was the skinny kid back in high school and first couple years of college. Used to feel the same way. Now I’m in the gym 4-5 days a week and am pretty fit and much bigger and muscular and leaner. Focus on your personal goals and your small victories and nobody else.
Enthusiast
It’s not a waste of personal trainer’s time if you are paying them :)
Conversation Starter
Look up the compound lifts. Do those.
Also thanks 🐠 you guys and gals are the best!
There has been so much feedback this is probably a waste but I’ll share just in case.
First of all, disabuse your mind of caring what anybody at the gym thinks, it really has no impact on your life or who you are. I wouldn’t even worry too much about physique, there is something you can do about it and some of it is generic.
Work on your strength if you feel you are weak. Don’t worry that you go in and lift the bar, or that you have 5lbs on the smith machine, just keep at it. Probably best to start the first couple of weeks with a personal trainer to give you a routine and then stick to it.
And if you are like most people, you will gain weight with age anyway so just worry about strength and being healthy. For reference, I was 5”7 and like 115lbs when I was 20 and now 20 years later about 5”9, 165lbs (weight will come but you will be one of the lucky lean older ones)
Do 5 pushups tomorrow morning. Do it every other day. Each week add 5 more pushups. Build momentum and before you know it 💪🏾
Enthusiast
No excuses - get a trainer! They work with tons of people who have never worked out before like me! I started in January and wasn’t able to run even half a km or do a push up and I’ve gotten so much better since then. The good thing about being really unfit is the gains you make at the start are extreme. The hardest part is just getting started. Do it!
Have you tried going to the gym off-peak hours to get more comfortable? F on the slim side as well, I bought weights for home and lift while in meetings that i’m just listening in on and it’s helped with consistency. Also, getting an apple watch + starting with 30 min a day goal helped a lot
Lots of people are self-conscious about something. You’re self-conscious about seeing yourself as weak. There are probably over a dozen people at the gym at any given time who see themselves as overweight and would be happy to have your physique.
Tour the gym before you join to make sure it feels like the right environment.
Do what works for you and something you can stick with. You have to be able to do something consistently to see progress and that’s a great motivator. Consider a trainer or go with a friend. Find some simple routines online which target whatever you’re interested in. Start at off-peak times when you can if that makes you less self-conscious. Figure out the right etiquette to clean the equipment, let others rotate in, etc.
You just got to go, everyone starts somewhere. You can start off with machines and watch YouTube videos that help you with form. If you feel anxious then go when it’s empty. Also a lot of building muscle is eating healthy. So switch to a high protein diet. When you first start you also get “newbie gains” and will gain a lot of strength quickly
Pro
Start at home and just do push-ups and air squats literally every single day. You’ll start to see gains in a month or so if you’re consistent for several weeks. Starting small will motivate you to keep going and when you start to see progress, your self confidence will go way up.
Then you can add in new muscle groups as the motivation stays constant.
Signed, a fellow scrawny male who put on 15 pounds of muscle in 10 months with only body weight exercises at home.
Most people in the gym don’t notice anyone else. As long as you aren’t the guy randomly blurting out his music with soundproof headphones on or the one talking on your phone while taking up a machine, I would not notice.
I’m out of shape from where I used to be, and I found a smaller gym closer to home with good (went to college for it) personal trainers that have more than an online cert. chose it because I like fewer people, and personal training can be beneficial from not just an improvement perspective, but also injury prevention, especially if you’re newer to lifting.
Pro
I think a couple sessions with a personal trainer will be good. They will coach you how to use the weights correctly and get you started on some workouts. This will get you the confidence to keep going.
A personal trainer would see you as an amazing opportunity. That’s why they get into the profession - to help us scrawny guys out. I’m 6’5” 165 lbs and I feel the same way, but once I have the cash I’ll be doing a personal trainer for sure.
Oh also, weights, you don’t need them! Body weight exercises are incredible! Calisthenics are amazing to start!
Some personal trainers love getting untrained clients such as yourself because they don’t have to break any bad habits in your movement patterns. If you want a personal trainer from your gym contact them and be very upfront about your goals (weightlifting/gaining size) and they will assign you someone that is best suited to help you achieve them.
Any links to some easy sets/workouts that a beginner can do (30-60min)? I have access to a gym but there are just so many videos etc that it’s kind of overwhelming
Chief
Don’t care about other people and go to the gym. I agree with other posts that no one cares about some other person at the gym.
Going to the gym, weights etc is not the only way to work out. I used to be exactly like you. Then discovered my love of cycling and racquetball. Start as a beginner in any sport/activity you like. Plenty of beginner leagues out there.
I still hate the gym, and I still carry memories of having sucked so bad at racquetball but you know what? I feel physically good and that’s what matters.
Do you feel like any sport tickles your fancy?