{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Anyone estranged from their parents? I have an emotionally needy mother who’s very unhappy in her life, her 3rd marriage is falling apart , she doesn’t have friends and her coworkers don’t like her", "post_id": "5d2899c90ca1c7001bf7d8aa", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Anyone estranged from their parents? I have an emotionally needy mother who’s very unhappy in her life, her 3rd marriage is falling apart , she doesn’t have friends and her coworkers don’t like her

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I second what Deloitte 1 said. My parents don’t get along but still live together and make all of siblings life hell. I tried to make peace with it but I realized that was impacting me. I haven’t spoken to them since start of this year. It hurts but at least I am away from drama. This has became daily routine of then fighting and then calling us to bad mouth about each other. Dealt with it for 30 years but I thought this was time for me to be selfish.

like

I am estranged from my father. It was sort of my decision when I became an adult. What I’ve learned is that you will always likely feel guilty about it (particularly as they age) but if they are truly that extremely toxic for you, then it’s worth it. whether or not that is warranted is an extremely personal decision that you will be judged for either way. Each situation is so unique and difficult in its own ways.

like

Thanks ladies. I’ve been in therapy for 2 years now trying to unpack this relationship and set boundaries. I feel lately, her behavior has been more erratic since I’ve tried to distance myself more, given we already live in different states and don’t see each other much. At this point, I’m completely exhausted. While I do feel sorry for her, it takes a lot of me every time.

like

I’ve been estranged from my entire family for 7 years. It was hard the first 3 year but it’s gotten so much easier once I healed from their damage. I don’t regret it for one bit.

like

I was for many years from both parents. We were both stubborn but we went in and out for many years after our initial incident. It takes a lot of emotional energy and boundary setting to deal with it. You will have to be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot tolerate. You won’t always know up front so have a good backend system to help catch you emotionally if you have one of those weeks. Professional help is great so you don’t burn out your friends. We have reconnected and things are way better now. Like any relationship, both sides have to make effort and invest and want to make it work. Your mom sounds like she may need professional help and undiagnosed something.

like

I've been estranged from my mom and her abusive husband for almost 4 years now. It was extremely painful in the beginning but in hindsight it was the best decision I made for myself. The thing about estrangement is that it's a process. Something toxic has happened repeatedly and in spite of boundaries being put in place, the offender repeatedly crosses them which ultimately leads to the estrangement. Estrangement isn't something that you just wake up one day and decide to do it, it's a process that has happened. You mention that she doesn't have any friends and her co-workers don't like her. Do you know why? Is she emotionally, physically, or spiritually manulative? My estrangement isn't something that I regret. I feel free and have space in my life to have people who respect me and my boundaries. Do I wish things could be different? Of course. However that would require change on my mom's end and that's a change she's not willing to accept and make. However my happiness is not dependant on her actions. The things they did to me are completely unacceptable and unimaginable that one's parents would do. I accepted what happened and decided the best course of action for my own life and mental health was estrangement. I have no regrets. However that is a process as well.

like

I can only speculate but my perspective is that she inherently has a low self esteem and compensates for it by criticizing and tearing down all around her. She’s convinced all of her coworkers are stupid and unsophisticated. She seems to make new friends just fine, but they never stick around for very long, for the same reasons I assume. I suggested therapy to her many times, but she’s only convince I have issues, not her. So also unwilling to make any chances on her end.

like

because she isn’t nice person in general. She’s been unhinged my whole life, pulling stunts like stealing my passport to prevent me from moving abroad for work etc. Out of nowhere this week, she’s been sending me emails saying I don’t support her and don’t call her to tell happy stories about my life to make her days more positive, I’m emotionally challenged (direct quote) etc. I pretty much ignored those provocations, and today she’s showed up at my door step unannounced (she lives out of state), crying. Feel like I’ve had enough at this point and I cannot be her only social outlet and take on the responsibility for her happiness. Anyone else had the experience of cutting their parents out of their life entirely? Do you regret it?

Ugh, so sorry. I’m probably going to be getting married in the next couple of years and this is so silly but I’m seriously wondering if I should just skip the whole wedding thing so I don’t have to deal with them being in the same room together and then all the fallout after.

like

Related Posts

Does anyone maybbbbbe think that this new “spike” in corona virus cases could be possibly caused by these massive riots in every major city? Not saying the riots are bad or wrong, but let’s not kid ourselves and say these aren’t a contributing factor. So when people are surprised at the USAs rising rates, I mean come on...

likesmartfunny

Does anyone know Navigant’s parental leave policy?

Looking for a Desi inspired gown/dress to wear at my baby shower. What are your favorite south asian online brands to shop? must ship to US and nothing crazy expensive.

like

Impulsively jumped firms for better projects. I want to get pregnant & settle down. Worried I sabotaged ops to transfer internally so soon or fear need to get local gig & how my resume looks. 😬

5 months pregnant and my PROMO GETS ANNOUNCED TOMORROW!!! 🥳🍾💕 if you’re drinking this evening - drink an extra for me!!!

likeuplifting

How many days after a missed period do you take a pregnancy test? I’m so irregular that I’ve missed 2-3 periods in a row earlier this year without taking one (and wasn’t pregnant).

How do you guys take care of your parents back home . I am a single child living in USA . I don’t want to go back and it is getting tougher day by day .

like

Has anyone figured out anything creative for a baby shower in a pandemic? Is it still okay to send out cute invites for a virtual one??

like

I hope this administration implements Federal parental leave. I don't understand how and why we still tout ourselves as the greatest country in the world, and we don't even have basic paid parental leave.

likeuplifting

Let's get a thread going of parental leave policies? What's the parental leave policy at your agency

Asking this question here for a reason. In our culture and set up, a majority of the time is spent in cooking. We usually don’t eat microwave meals. I want to understand how Indian families cope up with all the traveling associates with consulting. Does the mother or father usually stay at home or be in a “light” job?

like

Hi Ladies, This is a lengthy post, about a family matter. I am seeking some advice from the sisterhood. I am a married mother of a boy who is in Pre-K. I have been married for 8 years now. Contd..

like

Do people in analytics groups (Quantum Black, Gamma, Lighthouse, etc) get access and exposure to the parent firm's training for general mgmt consultants?

like

About to switch firms from federal / no travel to commercial / travel with two young kids (under 5). Looking for quick list of recommendations and survival tips to make this transition as a father.

I’m a 1st year prob 1 teacher & I just found out I’m pregnant (due mid-June). Definitely NOT planned and VERY stressed nervous. It’s hard to be happy right now. Advice on telling my principal, etc?

like

Is it worth it to get a travel car seat if you’re flying to a destination where you will then be driving? Kid will be 2, hoping to fly to see family later in the year. We have a big graco car seat we can take with us but I don’t know if it’s going to be a hassle or not.

like

Has anyone gotten hired pregnant? Curious of your stories.

like

How common are leaves of absence in PA? I’ve never seen someone out of work longer than a couple weeks other than for parent leave, but people on fishbowl talk about it as something you can reasonably ask for.

like

Did anyone accept a job while pregnant? When did you tell your new employer and how did they react?

like

Additional Posts

After talks with my regional marketing team (RMT), each of us feels that we deserve a raise and have been underpaid since we began. We are the most productive RMT, we drive global scaling with our work as examples, and train up our counterpart teams across the globe. All of this with half the team members of the other teams and within two years of our existence. Does anyone have guidance or advice on how to raise this type of issue, and how to seek a raise both individually and as a team?

like

Had a final interview with McK Academy last week. Recruiter wants to talk tomorrow - why can’t they just tell you directly or at least give you some kind of a hint? I won’t be able to do anything till tomorrow morning 😬😥

like

Hello Slalom Canada folks, Anyone willing to chat about Slalom's company culture and its niche/specialty here in Canada?

Hey Fishes. I am a CA and CS. I have been working with AIG from last 2.5Years. Prior to this I worked as Forensic Auditor in a CA Firm. Looking for a change. Interest Areas: Accounts & Finance, Reporting, Analytics, Forensic Audit, Internal Audit, Statutory Audit or any other role which matches my experience and qualifications. I will be greatful to you if you can refer in your Organization. Please dm for more details.

like

24 year old male from Chicago. I’m a Minimalist, DJ, Outdoorsy Type, Stoic , Pop Culture Enthusiast, & Career focused. DM if you want to chat.

likesmart

Setting up our first small business 401k! Should we be an ERISA 3(38) advisor? What are the pros and cons?

like

Anyone attended Columbia or Tuck for their MBA? Would love to know more about their experience/externships availabilities/chances of switching industries after

like

Instapanel is looking for a recent graduate (preferably from a comms, marketing, or humanities program) to join the team as a Market Research Strategist. This is an entry-level role. Msg for details!

like

*Sigh*. Another day, another account person who thinks that retained projects = free projects for the client (and that fee estimates don’t need to be approved/tracked internally). 🤯

likefunny

Anyone has insights to offer on the culture within Deloitte's Strategy & Analytics practice? I am considering a move to a SC position. Thanks!

like

Compensation Inquiry. Base and Bonus. How much does an Account Relationship aaenior Director at a Big Four? Can anyone share where they are at?

like

2nd waive of layoffs underway at the EY Houston office. #happydays #whosnext? 🌩☔️😫

like

I’m on a small high burn project team.. joined about 2 months ago.. but I’ve realized that we’re burning out. We’ve been working from 8:30 AM to 7/7:30 PM with no breaks in the middle and take calls from 10 onwards that go up to 11:30 PM.. 1. Is this normal and reasonable? 2. If not, what is the best way to bring this up to my M (being a newbie)?

likehelpful

Any chances of McKinsey application getting shortlisted for the associate profile if you don’t have a referral.

likefunny

What's S&C's compensation compared to Strategy? Close? On par?

likefunny

Hi Fishes, Have 3 yoe | 5 Ipa Tech stack: Devops + python development + aws stack ( development + devops ) Which position pays more SRE/ Devops / aws developer for 3 yoe. Please share some salary insights. Thanks

like

Looking for input into company referral fees for new hires - with the war on talent and high levels of open roles - I'm trying to encourage my company to move the needle on the referral fee I'm hearing that $2k seems to be the average for a referral - any input appreciated

like

Anyone get promoted mid year After receiving the bonus/review? (No pay increase for the promotion)

like

There has got to be something more civilized than the current transport options out of LGA

likehelpful

Hey all! Has anyone heard of or currently working for Elixirr? They call themselves “a challenger consultancy”, but I heard their culture is very toxic. Any thoughts? Thanks for sharing!

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal