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Does your district have an EAP? My district has a program that pays for 3 counseling sessions. I have an appointment for Saturday and I’m hoping to learn some strategies to help with anxiety.
I have old videos that were shot live in previous years. Sometimes I need to rewatch them to be certain that I got the same ideas in my live guided practice.
It literally hurts to know that great teacher may no longer exist, I feel like a shell of my former self.
I'm doing the best I can, but our current reality may have ruined me. The worst part, I can't financially afford to keep a promise I made myself at the start of this career, "quit before I become one of those ineffective teachers."
How do I cope?
Watch as few of those videos as I can, work as hard as I can, help kids every chance I can, give my coworkers and students every bit of grace I have. I am spending more energy finding small wins and learning from loses.
Lastly, I drink too much.
You are not alone.
I do understand how you are feeling. My anxiety is bothering me to for different reasons but the anxiety is the same. When I get that way I try to take time to deep breathe and give myself a pep talk. Teachers are overwhelmed with what they expect us to do. We can do only so much and must accept that we are doing the best we can considering what is going on in the school systems. Their expectations are too high for us to feel that we are accomplishing what we would normally accomplish. I would say most teachers feel the same way. Best Wishes!
Just keep in mind that you are not alone!
Well said! You are the norm, not the exception
I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar back in the spring right when the closure started. We immediately went to distance-learning and I felt so inadequate and that I was failing my students every day. Of course zoom was all new to me and we were all building the plane in the air, as they say, in the state of the world not being in great shape… I think I went into a sort of depression. I wanted to help my students, but it was so hard to plan, and teaching on the screen was so exhausting. I woke up every morning with a knot in stomach, feeling like had abandoned them. I started to get my game back probably middle of May which would make it about eight weeks into the closure. I knew that summer break was coming and that energized me. Plus, I had somewhat settled into a work routine at home and was coping better with it. Over the summer our district paid us to attend training for distance-learning, that really helped.
I was fortunate in that I had the summer to get my bearings, do some reading, and prepare for this year which we are starting out as distance, and will likely go hybrid soon. We are six weeks into the year now, and I don’t wake up anymore with a knot in my stomach like I did back in the spring. True, I’m not happy happy joy joy like I was in the old days, but I feel better about my teaching and look forward to seeing my students. I think it is very important to take time for yourself, something simple and relaxing that you like to do, and do it each day even if it’s for a little while. I’ve been doing lots of sewing and crocheting, making Christmas gifts, making masks, that makes me feel better working with the nice fabrics in pretty colors. I try to look for fun activities to do with the students during zoom, like directed drawing, or simple science activities, such as from mystery science , things that look enjoyable to me. Go easy on yourself with the technology, no doubt you are learning piles of new programs and what not, just take it a little bit at a time. Our superintendent said on our opening day virtual ceremony, “I want you to give yourself permission to not be perfect.” I’ve been saying that to myself a lot lately, it helps a little 😉